Ask Tuffy Luv. [email protected]
Dear Tuffy Luv,
So to start, this is humiliating, but last Friday night I peed my bed. I’m a 24-year-old grad student and live in the dorms at my school. I have no idea what happened, and this was a completely random event. Anyways, my roommate found out (it was pretty easy, she was awake when I woke up soaked…), which was even more embarrassing. I got up, took my wet pajamas off and went to take a shower. When I got back to the room, I stripped my sheets and took everything to wash. When I got back, I sprayed my mattress with Lysol…I think I handled the situation very responsibly.
But Monday, I got an email from my RA, requesting a meeting with me, my roommate, and her boss, who runs the whole dorm. Come to find out, my roommate had taken pictures of my wet bed and clothes. In the meeting, they expressed their concern that a girl my age was “still wetting the bed,” which is apparently how my roommate explained the situation. My RA’s boss said I had to pay for a new mattress and am required to have a waterproof mattress cover on the new one. Having the mattress cover isn’t a big deal, but paying for the new mattress caused my account to be billed and now my parents are aware of the incident. My roommate also told EVERYBODY in our hall about my accident, a rumor that has circulated to many more people on campus and made me the target of many snide remarks. Up until now, we had a great relationship. But I have no idea what to do! This has been the most humiliating few days of my life. I really don’t want to live with her anymore-should I request a room transfer or what? I cannot believe this has become such a big deal!
If you could offer advice, I’d really appreciate it,
Oh, man. That sucks.
Well, these things happen, no? Once in a while, some horribly embarrassing incident occurs, and, happily, you really did deal with it well. As you say, you were responsible, and you were also considerate.
Unfortunately, we can’t say these things about your roommate.
Okay, first let’s get this part out of the way: health stuff, yes? I’m glad to hear this is the first time it happened. Probably it was just a total fluke. (Were you drinking? That’ll do it.) But if it happens again, you should go get it checked out by a doctor. There are, Tuffy just learned, a number of things that can cause a person to wet their bed even when they’re otherwise healthy. So, seriously, if you find yourself in the same situation again, get thee to the college clinic.
In the meantime, your roommate is a total bootch and you should definitely move out.
There is no way to salvage your relationship with this girl. Instead of asking if you were okay, she went behind your back and told everyone a very embarrassing and personal thing. Karma will get her; you just get out. Don’t just request a room transfer. Transfer out of the building. There is really no way for you to recover from this. Something crappy happened to you, and then your roommate made it crappier. I’m not telling you to run away from it, but I am telling you to GET away from it. Cut your losses and move and then never speak of it again.
As for the haters who bring it up, I’d just put on a sad face and say, “Oh man, I was really sick that night” and refuse to give any other details. Hopefully they’ll feel messed up for bringing it up (which they are) and, either way, you know not to deal with said individuals again.
And your roommate? Eff her in the ear. Don’t speak another word to her. Ever.
Sorry, man. Feel good.
Hearts & Skulls,
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