Morning After: Okay, Maybe Wine Juice Boxes Aren't a Good Idea

[Everyone’s got a morning after story (though most don’t involve a large group of potential sorority sisters) and we wanna hear yours! Send it over to us and we’ll post it – anonymously, of course – right here!]
Wine is cheap in Europe, super cheap. I made that discovery early on during my semester abroad, and took advantage of it during my spring break in Italy. As all college students know, boxed wine in the States is a great invention which allows for portable drinking, but this idea has been one-upped in Europe, with the creation of what my friends and I would lovingly refer to as “wine boxes.” One liter of “table” (ie. awful) wine in a pouch, with an oh-so convenient pop tab opening which allows you to reseal your wine and take it on the go! They’re adult juice boxes, with alarming consequences I would eventually realize.
One night, my friends and I decided to have an adventure and escape the stuffy hostel. Needless to say, we brought along our wine boxes, now complete with bendy straws to make our drinking experience that. much. easier. College students really do have drive and creativity when it comes to protecting their laziness.
I was feeling great after a meal of pasta and boxed wine. Maybe a little too great, since those straws are the last thing I remember until I was awoken by the bright rays of sun that only a hangover can truly appreciate. Looking over at my friends, I saw their shocked faces, and my stomach sank. Looking down I see that my new Roma tee shirt, that I had decided to wear to bed, was soaked in red wine. In fact, the entire bed was soaked in table wine. I glanced at the floor and saw the culprit: a large wine box was lying crushed in a pool. In my drunken stupor the night before, I had sat on my beloved wine box, that I had hastily left on my bed, consequently ruining the sheets, my new favorite souvenir t-shirt, and ensuring that I would never see my security deposit.
Think that’s bad? Throw in a broken phone, (who knows how?) a mega hangover that brought tears to my eyes, and a flight to Amsterdam leaving in an hour, having not yet packed. How I made it alive, I’ll never know, but that was the day I officially retired from wine boxes.
[You think that’s bad? Check out our other cringe-worthy Morning After stories.]

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