So I was flipping through some old Facebook albums the other day (you know the ones people label THROWBACKS! OLDSCHOOL! And OMG WHAT WAS I THINKING!!!! ) when in between fits of hysterical laughter, I started to catch sight of what I actually looked like. And all I can say is, seriously? I mean, seriously? I know I was young and naïve, but I don’t remember being that naïve.
Poorly applied makeup.
And terrible, terrible fashion choices.
But the thing is, I wasn’t alone in these choices. No, they were all the rage once upon a time. Don’t pretend you didn’t think you were so cool with your Victoria’s Secret PINK sweatpants and ponchos (hopefully not worn together). I know you were right there with me, doing the sideways look in the mirror, thinking you looked so good. But really, none of us had any no clue what we were doing. And now years later, as seasoned fashionistas, we can look back on these fashion disasters and laugh.
Or cry. Whichever you prefer, really.
10. The original Ugg Boot. I already know people are going to rage against this one, but Uggs are not attractive. They’re just not. Comfortable? Yes. Warm? Yes. But not attractive. And although they’re still around today, worn on those rainy/snowy/slushy/extra cold days when nothing else seems quite as appropriate, I will forever think of my high school years as the Uggs-with-skirts years. And those are some very bad years.
9. The Messy Bun. Flip your head over. Compile all of your hair into a ball atop your head. Wrap a hair tie around it. Styling complete. It’s still worn today, but at least in college we can admit that it’s not so much attractive as it is convenient…
8. Platform flip flops. They seemed so cool at the time, and added that extra bit of height that we pre-pubescent teens still needed, but really, really, what were we thinking? “God, I really want my leg to look thick and stumpy”? Thank goodness we’ve traded up to four inch stiletto heels that kill our feet, instead.
7. The poofy prom dress. Or the poofy Sweet 16 dress? The poofy bat mitzvah dress? At some point you wore a dress completely covered in tulle. A dress with sparkles and bows. A dress that you loved at the time. It was THE.PERFECT.DRESS. Now? Well, now you look back and try to even find yourself in all that tulle.
6. Velour Sweatsuits. Granted, these things are also still around, but now they’re associated more with The Real Housewives of New Jersey than they are with impressionable, young high school girls. These probably wouldn’t have looked quite so bad if they didn’t come in the most ridiculous colors ever. Or you know, if they didn’t have the word “juicy” stamped across the butt. Oh yes, which reminds me…
5. Label Whoring. Ed Hardy. Victoria’s Secret. VonDutch. Kangol. Coach. Juicy. Anything with any name that could possibly be placed anywhere. Bedazzled. Bejeweled. Painted on. It didn’t matter where it was, or who it was, as long as people recognized it.
4. Side Swept Bangs. I think I was a junior in high school when the side swept bang craze first hit. Suddenly everywhere I looked, half of a girl’s face was covered by her SUPER CHIC looking bangs. That she cut by herself. Right there in homeroom. With a pair of safety scissors. (True story!) It’s really no surprise that senior year saw the rise of the…
3. Headbands. This was pre-Blair Waldorf. At least, it was for me. Inspired more by the boho chic Mischa Barton, and Nicole Richie, these headbands were super thin little straps of fabric that were really very far from flattering. But that didn’t stop anyone from wearing them.
2. Ponchos. Come on ladies, admit it. Once upon a time you threw on a pair of jeans, your favorite tank top and a brightly colored poncho. Probably something crocheted with lots and lots of fake flowers on it. Think Haley James circa season one of One Tree Hill, which also coincided with my freshman year. Because there’s nothing quite as flattering as a maternity top. Except….
1. Midriff-bearing Tops. No, not the currently popular crop top that flows away from the body (That I really like right now but that will no doubt make it on my list of worst college fashion decisions ever…) but the skin tight baby tee, that was paired with super low rise jeans and sported by Britney and the like.
Fess up. What were your worst high school fashion mistakes?