Glamour Says The Darndest Things: March Edition

Diane Kruger is a certified, regulation, top-tier hottie. I mean, she is ethereal enough to have been cast as Helen of Troy. She is currently boning and betrothed to wed Joshua Jackson (PACEY!) and she somehow managed to make stilted sexyface look alluring and hot on this month’s cover of Glamour. And I’m absolutely gagging (in the best possible way) over her cover ensemble. Sigh. Hot women in amazeball clothes – Glamour knows how to speak to my soul so deeply.
Unfortunately, once Glamour starts trying to use words to enrich our lives, it all goes downhill.
As usual, the “Men, Sex, and Love” section is an utter disaster. When the best piece of advice is offered by a 9-year-old, you know this shiz is dire. (The 9-year-old was asked if men should pay on the first day. Her answer; “No, because then he’ll think you’re spoiled. You should volunteer.” Debate over.)
There’s an article by a 28-year-old woman who planned to save her virginity for her husband…and then didn’t (didn’t most of us have that “I’m waiting until marriage…oops, there’s a p in my v” moment at some point? Yawn.) There is an article about communication by some dude who apparently feels that guys need women to tell them that joking about their moms is not okay (I know etiquette is kind of a lost concept these days, but seriously?) And apparently dudes think about sports during sex (remember when these magazines said they were thinking about supermodels? I’m not sure if sports are an up- or a downgrade). But it’s the obligatory sexting article that made me roll my eyes so hard I’m pretty sure I saw my brain.
Let me explain why.
Glamour says: 84 percent of guys have sent a dirty text while 91 percent have received one.
Jasmine says. I can’t help but focus on the seven point differential between those two stats. There are many things that women should be taking initiative to do — shooting out potentially incriminating words/photos first is not one of them.
Glamour says. 1 percent of men prefer phone sex to real sex.
Jasmine says: …are these the men for whom the fleshlight is made?
Glamour says: 33 percent of guys have taken a cell phone photo of their penis.
Jasmine says: I have never been more skeptical of a statistic in my life. It’s at least twice as many, am I right?
Glamour says: 20 percent of men have shown their friends a sext from a woman.
Jasmine says: This is why men can’t have nice things. Seriously, can some guys be any more uncouth?
Glamour says: 16 percent of men would send out nude photos of an ex.
Jasmine says: And…apparently the answer to my last question is yes. Cardinal rule: NEVER include your face in a nudie.
To see even more ridiculous advice from everyone’s favorite fashion/lifestyle magazine, click here!

Candy Dish: Yay for Gal Pals!
Candy Dish: Yay for Gal Pals!
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