There was lots of Facebook drama in the news last week when we found out that the new Breakup Notifier was kicked off the site. (Now if only my mother could get kicked off the site….)
The “Breakup Notifier” let you take a bunch of your friends that are listed as in a relationship and plug them into the app. If and when they changed their relationship status, the app would e-mail you to let you know. It was stalking made simple.
Even though we thought this app was an amazing/creepy idea, it still didn’t solve all of our Facebook woes. There’s still some work to be done — and now that some space in the app market has cleared up, we had a few ideas of our own.
1. Facebook Photoshop for Profile Pics. You know how sometimes you have a picture you’re just dying to default, but you can’t because there’s this one tiny issue. That zit that just wouldn’t go away. Your twitchy eye. Hair in front of your face. Photoshop would solve all of your problems, but you’re not laying out the cash just for a cute pic. Well, with this app you wouldn’t have to. Simply upload the photo and crop, cut, and airbrush away. No one would ever remember what real people look like, but hey, priorities people, priorities.
2. A “See Friendship” app. Facebook already has this, I know. But it’s limited by hidden photos and private profiles and all those other necessary privacy settings that keep people from losing their jobs over what they post on Facebook. But if there was an app that would let me see each and every interaction each and every one of my Facebook friends had with each and every one of their Facebook friends it would make it so much easier to determine whether or not that cute guy from Econ is dating the girl who writes on his wall daily or if she’s just a crazy stalker. (Unlike me.)
3. A Friend Filter. An app that notifies you of all that activity on your most recently viewed pages upon login. Think about how much time you would save if you didn’t have to check your BFFs page daily or scroll through the Newsfeed to find out the latest info on your frenemy. Instead, upon login, you’d get a detailed report of all the activities that have taken place on your most viewed profile pages.
4. An automatic untagger. It’s happened to all of us. A night out with friends in which for one reason or another you take lots and lots of highly unflattering pictures. Your friend posts them regardless, and tags you in all of them. But because you’ve fallen off the face of the planet had a lot going on that week you never made it on to see said horrendous photos until much later. Which means that for days those terrible pictures showed up in your friends’ newsfeeds, on your profile page, and in that banner thing above your wall that the new Facebook is so fond of. Quickly you untag the photos. But the damage has already been done. Unless there was an app that filtered out and automatically untagged your unflattering photos. Not terribly realistic but a girl can dream, can’t she?
5. An app that lets you know who’s been creeping your profile. They say it can’t be done. They say it would ruin Facebook. They say it would ruin relationships. And that’s probably all true, but still I can’t help but wish for an app that would let me see who’s been stalking my page. My friends? My enemies? The ex? The crush? The information would probably simultaneously enrage and enlighten, but you know what they say, knowledge is power and all that. So I’d really like for Facebook to get this app going… but I think I should be the only one with access to it. Because no one needs to know the profiles that I’m stalking visiting. So yeah, I think I’m the only one who should have access to this. I think that would be best.
What do you think? Which apps do you think Facebook needs to get moving on? And what do you think of the Breakup Notifier?