Oh the Places a Justin Bieber Fan Will Go

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CollegeCandies, today is a very special day.

Today is the birthday of not one monumental figure in pop culture, but two. Because not only is today the 17th birthday of Justin “everyone freaks out when he cuts his hair” Bieber, it’s also the birthday of everyone’s favorite childhood author, Dr. Seuss. Yes, the man who brought you The Cat in the Hat was born on the very same day as the boy who brought you “Somebody to Love.” So who to celebrate? Which one will get the coveted CollegeCandy celebration?

Well, we just couldn’t choose. So instead we came up with a way to honor both of these legends. In honor of Dr. Seuss I will be presenting you lovely ladies with a poem, but in order to bestow upon Bieber the honor that he deserves, that poem will be about him. So ladies, may I present, for you enjoyment, Oh The Places You Can Find a Bieber Fan


Ahem..

The young Justin Bieber has quite a few fans.

He has them eating out of the palm of his plans.

They populate the planet like no other,

One after another, after another.

Justin Bieber fans are everywhere, you see,

And their ages range from thirty to thirteen to three.

That’s why you can find them everywhere,

They are there, and there, and there.

You can find Justin Bieber fans in the quad.

You can find them on the dancing squad.

You can find one when you run,

…Or in a Forever 21.

You can find Justin Bieber fans at a raging party,

Maybe drinking a bit too much of Bacardi.

You can them find them on YouTube,

And I’m sure many have even flashed a boob.

You can find Justin Bieber fans losing their bras.

(But he’s only 17 so they won’t get very far.)

You can find them walking down the street.

Or on the bus, in the adjacent seat.

You can find Justin Bieber fans at his concerts too,

Screaming so much they begin to turn blue.

You can find them in a high school class,

Some with his name tattooed above their ass.

You can find Justin Bieber fans on CollegeCandy.

They’re the ones that will keep this poem handy.

You can find them all over the internet,

Some you’re glad you’ve never met.

You can find Justin Bieber fans dancing to his songs.

They’re probably getting the lyrics wrong.

You can find them in the dining hall,

And you can definitely find them at the mall.

You can find Justin Bieber fans in your dorm.

What? Don’t act like that isn’t the norm!

You can find them sitting next to you in Chem,

Then, you’ll whisper “it’s one of them”

But Bieber fans are everywhere, you see

In fact, you might even find a Bieber fan in me.

Happy birthday Biebs! Happy birthday Dr. Seuss!

COLLEGECANDY Writer
COLLEGECANDY Writer
Keep your head, heels, and standards high. Follow me @jenninzetta
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