Single Girl Society: Sometimes You Have To Make The First Move

Lesson 13: Sometimes you have to make the first move.
We’ve heard it before and we’ll probably hear it for the rest of our single lives, but before your palms get sweaty and you start to hyperventilate, grab a drink and just breathe because it’s popular advice for a reason.
Maybe a few years ago women making the first move wasn’t such popular advice, but now with the heavy reliance the dating pool feels toward digital mediums like Facebook and texting, people are less likely to make the first move in person (Ya know? The old fashioned way).
I know! I hate hearing this advice too, but as much as I hate to admit it, it’s effective.
More and more guys are relying on Facebook messages and texting to make the first move with a girl, opting to ask someone out in more digital, less personal ways, so that the mere thought of asking a girl out in person seems like a sensory overload. So if the guys wont step up and do it, it’s on the single ladies to make the move (or else we’re never gonna get some).
Look, I’ve never met a person who wasn’t afraid of rejection, but there are plenty of couples in the world who serve as proof that at least some people out in the world overcame that fear of rejection at some point in their lives and right now, while you’re young, single and fabulous (and perhaps a little frustrated with an itch only a man can scratch), is the perfect time to get over your fear.
So stop stressin’, put down your cell phone and close your laptop, because we’re about to kick it old school, ladies.
First up, engage eye contact; not cliché eye contact like something out a film Jenna Jameson starred in. You don’t need to conduct a full body scan with your bedroom-eyes; a couple of glances, a slight smile, maybe lock eyes for a split second and you’re done. It’s as simple (and uncheesy) as that. Eye contact is important because it puts you on his radar, which paves the way for you to approach him. Plus, eye contact is way easier on your liver than the three tequila shots it would normally take to get you to approach a guy.
Next, walk over to him. Yup. That’s right – walk to him. For him it’s an ego boost, but for you it screams confidence and lets the guy know you’re interested, so you don’t have to work so hard when you actually start conversing with him. Keep in mind, you don’t need to saunter or strut – simply walk. Don’t try to be the sexy version of you – just be you.
They key to making the first move is not to think of it as something constructed to make you look like an idiot.
Lastly, strike up a conversation. Only stick with what you’re comfortable with. For example, if you’re attending an event that happens periodically, like a weekly poetry slam,  ask him if he went to the last one. If you’re good with compliments and he’s wearing particularly fabulous shoes, compliment his shoes in an offhanded and fun way. If you’re at a complete loss of what to say, stick with a short and simple “hey.” It’s quick and to the point and remember – you’ve already put in half the effort by walking to him so he knows you’re interested. If all of these suggestions make you long for your tried and true system of tequila before talking, bring a wingwoman along, but make sure you do the majority of the talking.
Guys are just as terrified as we are when it comes to making the first move and with the growth of digital mediums defining and creating our social relationships, guys have retreated from putting themselves out there almost altogether. It’s time to take dating into our own hands and stop waiting around for some socially inept guy to just magically realize that we’re into them! So go forth single sisters and make the first move!
Got it? Now get the first 12 rules of the Single Girl Society right here.

True Story: I Have HPV
True Story: I Have HPV
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