Question?! Floop it. Ask [email protected].
Dear Tuffy Luv,
I recently lost my virginity about a month ago. I’ve had sex a couple times with this guy (we’re dating) and I’m always on the bottom. What do I do while he’s…going into me? I always feel bad because I’m just lying there while he’s going at it pretty hard. I haven’t tried anything because I don’t really want make a mistake and be embarrassed or something. What should I do? This is probably a little awkward to give me tips so if you could me some helpful links that would be so helpful.
Welp, you came to the right place. Because Aunt Tuffy ain’t givin’ you no helpful links. (Well, okay, I will. But first:) Aunt Tuffy gonna give you some school.
The first rule of ex-virgin club is, you do not talk about ex-virgin club.
Wait, scratch that. It’s the opposite. The first rule of ex-virgin club is, you better be the floop able to talk about it.
Didn’t your momma ever tell you?! IF YOU CAN’T TALK ABOUT IT, DON’T DO IT. In other words, you shouldn’t be effing some guy you don’t feel comfortable talking about sex with. I mean, you’re letting him put his hooho in your hooha. Penis, okay?! SAY PENIS. IF YOU CAN’T SAY PENIS, STOP HAVING SEX.
But, let’s assume you CAN say penis. (SAY IT. He he. Made you say penis.) If you CAN say penis, then you can ask him what he likes. And if you ask him what he likes, chances are, he will tell you. And sex will get much more awesome.
Furthermore, once you’ve gotten up the courage to ask him what HE likes, you can most certainly get up the courage to tell him what YOU like. And then sex will get awesomer yet.
The two of you need to get into a groove, to understand each other’s bodies and what each of you like and don’t like. Try different positions (missionary [him on top], you on top, etc.–here are some good ones from Cosmo) and try to notice what feels good for you. Also try to notice what turns him on more. Are there overlaps?! Chances are, there are many overlaps. Note those things. Repeat ’em.
But maybe you don’t know what you like. I mean, after all, you are a very recent addition to the ex-virgin club.
The best way to get to know what you like is to masturbate. You can do this with your fingers or a toy. If you use a toy, definitely use lube and make sure the toy is clean and intended for sexual use. Explore your body. You’ll figure out what feels good and what doesn’t.
Porn is another good helper. I mean, most of the stuff they do is crazy. But every now and then, you might find something that looks like fun to try. Or you might just find some good fantasy material. Either way, pretty good deal.
And, um, if you’re too embarrassed to even think about either of the above, you’re not ready to be having sex.
Look, girl. Here’s the truth:
The most important thing that you need to do during sex is to be in the moment. Stop worrying about what he’s thinking. TRUST ME. BOY AIN’T THINKING A DAMN THING. (And if you don’t believe me, maybe you’ll believe a dude.)He’s feeling lucky he gets to eff you. Just relax and have a good time.
Oh, and, please. USE PROTECTION. Because you know what’s not a good time?! Unwanted pregnancies and STDs. CONDOMS EVERY SINGLE TIME. Or else. For real.
Hearts & Skulls,
[Want more tough love? Get it.]