The Bachelorette: Well That Was Quick


For those of  you who actually have a life (unlike me, who glues herself to the t.v. whenever there is any “reality” drams going down) and missed last night’s episode..Bentley Williams is gone. Boy toy has left the building, sayonara sucker!  This season’s villain is officially out of our dear bachelorette‘s life…well hopefully.

So in light of this miracle, or the producers forcing him to leave due to his major douche baggery, I decided to put together a montage of some of Bentley’s best quotes. I apologize to his daughter Cozy who will some day find this article and realize what a mean twisted person her father really is.

Bentley…this is for you:

Hmm, I wonder what Bent is hoping for...

First impression of Bentley: “Even though I’m not overly attracted to her, I’m very competitive, so I feel like it should be mine.”

On marrying Ashley:“I mean, that just sounds terrible. I would literally rather be, like, swimming in pee than trying to plan my wedding with her. Because I’m not thinking like, omigosh, this is like the girl of my dreams. I’m thinking, like, she’s not my type.”

While having some one and one time with Ash: “Having her tickle my pickle, I mean that would be amazing.”

On their first kiss: “That was kind of bor — It started out good but it sucked towards the end. But it’s more of, like, an expected feeling. I’d be lying to everyone if I’m, like, ‘Yeah, I’m in this ’til the end. I’m gonna ride this out for two months.’ There’s no way I’m going to last that long.”

Comforting” Ash after the roast: “I’m not going to pass up a moment to mess with her head” then three seconds later “I hate it when people cry, it’s not attractive at all.”

Saying goodbye to the guys: “These fools, these freaking idiots believe me. None of them have any idea that I don’t care about Ashley. I had the opportunity and I played everyone.”

Bentley’s true feelings- Don’t hold back or anything: “[Emily’s] such a standout, and…Ashley looks like an ugly duckling. I’m going to make Ashley cry. I hope my hair looks OK.”

Saying goodbye to Ashley: “I talked to her like I’d talk to a girl I was interested in. Ashley is not the girl I’m smitten by, but definitely the type of girl I’d hook up with now and then. Looking back, things could have been different if the Bachelorette was Emily.”

Here’s to you Bentley Williams, a real Prince Charming among frogs.

In other news on The Bachelorette

-Mask Man took off his mask, and then got sent home. (Maybe you should’ve kept the mask on.)

-William told Ash, “I thought I signed up to be with Emily or Chantal and then Ashley’s here. Really, who gives a sh*t?” during the roast. (Somehow boyfriend still got a rose.)

-Ashley cried…

-Three new bachelors were featured, either that or three old ones got complete makeovers and were lookin’ smokin’ during the what should’ve been cocktail party.

-…Ashley cried more.

What were your thoughts on the episode? Was Bentley truly the villain Christ Harrison & Co. painted him to be, or did he get the Wes editing treatment? Was I the only one shocked when Ashley didn’t notice The Masked Man lurking above her on the balcony when she walked in the house? Is this season a little…weirder…than the others?? Sound off below, ladies!

Until next time, fellow reality t.v. fans, when we join our gang of mis-fits in Phuket, Thailand.

Starbucks is my religion and Seventeen is my bible.
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