You’ll Never Guess Which College Jessica Simpson and Jessica Alba Toured…


Plenty of young celebrities choose to earn a college degree just in case no one thinks they’re hot or wants to buy their album when they’re 45 and practically falling apart (thanks to a life of plastic surgery). Emma Watson, Hilary Duff, Dylan and Cole Sprouse — the list goes on and on. Honestly, it’s a smart decision, good for them.

But, see, there’s a difference between Emma Watson and Jessica Simpson, am I right? Emma’s cool British charm and her extensive knowledge of (fictional) magic make her the perfect candidate for an Ivy League school, but Jessica Simpson? I’m pretty sure you have to know the difference between chicken and tuna in order to get into college.

Regardless, Simpson, Alba (who knew they were friends?) and their husbands took a tour of this university’s campus yesterday. While there’s been no confirmation on whether they have plans to attend the school, they’re seriously the last two people on this planet who should be even considering applying to this school.

Okay, fine, Alba’s not bad, she could probably handle it, but Simpson? Seriously, can you imagine having Jessica Simpson as a roommate? Aside from bursting into an emotional drunken fit whenever someone decides to blast their 98 Degrees old-school playlist, Simpson would be that chick who asks the most ridiculous, stupid, irrelevant questions in class and that girl who might as well not even have a laptop since she doesn’t even know how to turn it on. Basically, she would be the one who you would have to assume had really, rich parents who built a library on campus.

I like conspiracies, the internet, and mashed potatoes.
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