Single Girl Society: If He Wanted To Be With You, He'd Be With You


In the last year, it seems as though being single has been my specialty. While flings and hookups have come (pun intended) and gone, and dates have left me with some less than desirable memories, my current single status has remained loyally by my side. I’ve learned a lot in the past year and I’ve discovered that single girls around the world are all in the same fabulous pair of shoes.
Lesson 27: If He Wanted To Be With You, He’d Be With You
So there you are, another Friday night, another Lean Cuisine and bottle of red that you’ve already taken the liberty of gulping down as an appetizer. Content with your night but mostly with your wine buzz, just about to sink into the couch hoping for a marathon of the Real Housewives of Anywhere, your phone’s text message alert rings. Looking at the phone’s screen just long enough to know you should’ve known better than to look, you realize it’s your ex. Of course it is. It’s about that time again right? Every two months or so, he loves to check in with his favorite go-to line, “I’m thinking of you” (or if he’s drunk, “Im thinjing og yoi”) just long enough to make your head spin (on top of your wine buzz).
There will always be that one ex in your life that takes a socially unacceptable amount of joy in confusing the hell out of you. He’ll come out of nowhere and drop bombs about how he misses you but as soon as you call him out on it, he reverts to whatever excuse he’s got in his arsenal. If it’s not an issue with commitment, it’s a new girlfriend or some spiel about needing to “find himself.”
He has no problem saying things that make you believe he wants to be with you and yet there’s always something holding him back from actually being with you.
If you have yet to get to the point where his sporadic and cringe-worthy texts make you roll your eyes, you’re treading in dangerous waters – ones that may not result in heartbreak, but will certainly remind you of it.
As much as you’d prefer not to believe it, most of the time you’re dealing with a normal, typical, text-book douchebag, not some tortured soul out of an Arthur Miller play. While at first you may find it romantic as he texts you sweet nothings in the middle of the night, things you never thought he’d say again post-breakup, trust me, it’s only a matter of time until you’ll start to feel more like a dirty little secret.
Though there are very few exceptions, a general rule of thumb is that if he wanted to be with you, he’d be with you. Don’t latch on to the excuses he feeds you about “needing to figure out who he is,” or “things being so complicated,” because the truth is his texts and his wavering feelings for you are the things that made your relationship (if you’re even allowed to call it that) complicated.
More importantly, there’s nothing fun about trying to be with someone who isn’t trying to be with you. It’s an exhausting life that borders on self-loathing and no matter how much he claims to miss you, it’s never going to be enough to truly make you happy. So next time he texts you in the middle of a perfectly single night, roll your eyes, get back to your regularly scheduled night of bad reality television and remember you deserve someone who wants to be with you…you know, in broad daylight and not through a text.
Got it? Feel empowered? Good. Now get the first 26 rules of the Single Girl Society right here.

Totally Random Sex Facts
Totally Random Sex Facts
  • 10614935101348454