An Open Letter to Sex & The City

Dear SATC gods:
We city dwellers and big-city hopefuls would greatly appreciate it if you didn’t create another Sex & The City movie. Ever heard the term “three’s a crowd?” Yeah, well, however cliché it may sound, it’s incredibly appropriate for your dreams of a potentially disastrous third movie. So, since we’ve been hearing rumors that it’s a possibility, we thought it was a good time to sit down and talk.
Let me begin by saying: I am a huge SATC fan. I am Carrie, Charlotte, Samantha and Miranda all balled into one and my obsession with their extravagant vacays, condo-sized closets and flagrantly glam’d up lifestyles is downright dangerous. Yet I think I speak for many SATC fans when I say that you have fulfilled your duty — let the six seasons and two movies live on. Where else could you possibly go with the storyline?
Carrie & Mr. Big are finally married, and no, we don’t see any kids in the future. Imagine Carrie Bradshaw with kids! Oh that’s right, you can’t.
Miranda & Steve have finally settled their differences and they are happy together. A third installment to the SATC series would only take us on another Stiranda (that’s when Steve and Miranda’s relationship gets all stirred up. It makes sense, just go with it. ) rollercoaster that we’re not willing to ride.
Charlotte has her 500 kids she’s always wanted AND she is also happily married AND fully Jewish. Where will you possibly take her story? There you go again, SATC gods, trying to mess up a good thing.
Samantha Jones will forever be Samantha Jones, eagerly humping whomever she pleases. What were your plans for her? Tie her down and turn her into a housewife? Ha! When we left her in the first , she was 50 and fabulous. In SATC3 she’d be what…50 thousand and fabulous? Let’s be serious for a moment.
As it is, you carelessly took 4 city gals and threw them into the desert sands that are the majestic Abu Dhabi. In SATC2, you basically proved to the Sex & the City haters that they were right all along: the fabulousness that is Carrie, Charlotte, Samantha and Miranda is in fact limited to the crowded streets of New York City.
Spare us the box office embarrassment this time around and keep it at 2.
We thank you in advance,
-Sex and the City Worshippers

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