The Standard of Beauty According to You

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, right?

Not according to this online dating site. On, beauty is in the eye of its already existing 700,000 members. That’s right, if you want to join the popular dating site, you have to submit pictures of yourself, and the members must vote you in, based on how beautiful THEY think you are. If denied (or kicked out), you’re sent an email that basically says “sorry you’re ugly” and given a number to a hotline where you can chat with a…grief counselor?

However ridiculous this may sound, it’s all entirely true. The nature under which this site operates, though, really got me thinking all about the laws of attraction. As we know, the standard of beauty is defined by the society in which we live. (In the U.S., we tend to value those that are financially stable, fit and apparently living a wholesome lifestyle, right? At least, that’s what the media tells us.) But what really attracts one individual to another?

Greg Hodge, the managing director of told the Huffington Post that the male members vote on the women based solely on how they look. The women tend to look at the overall package. Once the physical attraction is confirmed, the ladies want to see that the man is articulate and expressive (via his written profile) and living a decent lifestyle (via his photos). “A high income also helps,” says Hodge.

If this site were reflective of what really peaks a woman’s interest, us single girls would be on the prowl for guys that are physically appealing, smart and wealthy. But let’s be real: the economy is shit, half the college guys we know are a bit less commonsensical than we’d like for them to be and those keg parties have opened the door for beer bellies galore.

In my own opinion, there are other non-physical factors to take into consideration when drafting my own laws of attraction. Personality is a big one. Jokesters + conversationalists are perfect for me (along with Mexican food lovers and undercover nerds, of course). Shared common interests are important; my guy and I need to be able to have fun doing the things we love, together. I can go on and on about what I find attractive in a guy, but there is one thing I’m sure I wouldn’t be cool with. objectifies the standard of beauty by limiting it solely to physical appearance. I would never be comfortable dating someone who is so blinded by physical beauty that they fail to see the true beauty within.

Everyone has their own likes and dislikes, preferences and particulars. The laws of attraction are your own, based both on these things and on what it is you look for in a relationship. If you’re okay with dating someone that 700,000 strangers have voted onto the site as attractive, then is for you. But there is still one question that remains in trying to figure out the laws of attraction: if beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder, how would we ever know what someone else beholds as beautiful?

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