Tuffy Luv Sez: CONDOMS!!!!!!!!!!

Question?! Answer: Ask Tuffy Luv.
Dear Tuffy Luv,

Hi, I am confused and have found myself a deer caught in the headlights. Now since I have lost my virginity I have found condoms extremely uncomfortable. I mean to the point where I am in tears from the pain. I have not found the reason behind this, I’ve tried ultrathins and pre-lubricated condoms, I’ve even tried using extra lube. It just hurts. Now whenever I’ve gotten with a guy because of my extreme hate of condoms I try to be as sure as possible they do not have any STDs and we are monogamous, only one person have I ever grinned and beared it with merely on a trust issue. I am also on birth control.
Now up until now this has been a fine arrangement, guys understand it hurts, and if they don’t when they see me cry they rip it off themselves. But I am in a relationship with a guy who is extremely uncomfortable with the idea of not using a condom (mainly due to a recent pregnancy scare). I don’t want to make him compromise his ideals and I don’t want to hurt. What do I do???
-Helpless Condom Hater
Dear Helpless Condom Hater,
USE CONDOMS OR I WILL KILL YOU.
That is, if AIDS doesn’t kill you first. Or, you know, you don’t get any number of horrible, life-long diseases.
I am so disturbed by your letter, helpless condom hater. Yes, you do have a problem. However, instead of skipping condoms and exposing yourself to potential disease, you absolutely MUST go to a doctor.
If I had to guess, Non-Doctor-Aunt-Tuffy would say you probably have a latex allergy. You say the pain is only there when you use a condom, and it happens even with extra lubricant, so latex seems the likely cause.
I guess you can try this before seeing a doctor, if you want: try condoms that are made of Polyurethane. If this works, then you know it’s a latex allergy and you can just use Polyurethane condoms thenceforth and whatever. Do be aware, though, that Polyurethane condoms break more easily, so be careful!
I would urge you, however, to go straight to a doctor. You may actually have already contracted an STD and just not know it. Or you might have some kind of condition you’re unaware of. No matter what, health comes first, yes?! If you don’t have your health, you have nothing. Everything else will suck. I promise. So get thee to a doctor and ask them what’s up.
If the issue is insurance or your parents finding out, you can always go to a Planned Parenthood. They’re all over the place and are much less expensive and discrete.
In the meantime, I’m sorry to tell you, your current guy is absolutely right. You need to find a way to have safe sex. The doctor you see (YOU MUST SEE A DOCTOR!!!) will give you more (and better!) suggestions, but the place to start is by trying non-latex condoms.
Look, you may have already contracted an STD, whether or not that’s what’s causing the condom issue. You absolutely have NO way of knowing your partners were STD-free, even though you seem to think otherwise. You don’t know their sexual histories. They may not even know. And if people continue to have unprotected sex, the rate of STDs increases. Did you know that 1 in 6 Americans now has herpes?! STDs are not a joke, kids. You get herpes, for instance, you’re stuck with it. FOREVER. PLEASE TAKE PRECAUTIONS.
And that’s really not the worst of it. Again, AIDS is still a major problem, and it’s still life-threatening, and even if it’s under control it can cause OTHER problems that may be life-threatening.
Readers, please be mad at each other for not using condoms. We all put each other at risk. Every unprotected person has the chance of infecting some future partner, who may in turn infect another future partner. We’re at an epidemic of STDs. Do we really want a world where it’s dangerous to make love?!
Easily solved. Use protection. Keep each other safe.
And, you know, people who are in monogamous relationships are still at risk. People cheat. All the time. And you may not know it until you wake up with burning pee. Or years later when it’s too late and you’re already quite ill.
ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS USE PROTECTION.
Girl, sorry. No more sex for you until you go to the doctor and find a way to use condoms.
Hearts & Skulls,
Tuffy Luv
He Said/She Said: Shameful Attraction
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