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The Bachelorette: Ashley Steals Home


This week on The Bachelorette– Home Town Dates. One of the episodes in the season we all can’t wait to see. Partly because it means it is almost over, but mainly we want to see how crazy the guys’ families are, considering they supported their journey of love on a reality dating show that usually results in messy public breakups.

Needless to say, I was thoroughly excited to sit down and watch two hours of what, in my mind, should have been an outtake from the Family Feud. Instead I got staged conversations and Ashley’s bangs of shame.

Ash’s first stop was Cumming, Ga (really ABC?) to see Constantine in “My Big Fat Greek Family’s Home Date.” The two lovebirds cooked, ate and danced. Constantine’s mom even declared she would be okay with making Ash an honorary Greek, his Father wants to see his son and Ashley in love forever…and also managed to sneak in that his son “is very good with kids.” For some reason his entire family supports him, only wishing he finds true love and happiness. After dinner is done, Constantine’s entire extended family decides to join in on the fun dancing with Ash and makin’ it rain on them hos tossing dollar bills in the air (like any Greek family does).

Then Ashley flew to Ames in PA, this is where things got a little awkward…go figure. First off any situation with Ames’ family was bound to get awkward, just looking at that forehead you know there has to be more where that came from. We find out that it is possible to have eyes further apart than Ames, and his sister has them. His sister is clearly protective of him but gets a little bit creepy before Ames takes Ash on their “romantic” date. Once they get to a spot under Ames’ favorite tree he starts laying it on thick. He says, “It’s the best when ordinary is extraordinary.” Oh, it gets worse from there. It also helps Ash’s case that she tells the confessional there just isn’t a spark…but continues to play with him and his damaged goods.

Afterwards, Ash was craving some sun (and booze) so she took a trip to Cali to visit Ben F. (Constantine’s twin). They drank Ben’s wine, talked about Ben’s feelings and about how if his mom or sister didn’t like her, then she would be gone. Just like that. Lucky (or unlucky) for him they both liked her, and after showing Ash some baby photos of Ben I can totally get what she sees in him…money. Because even the heart-felt conversation with his mother was a tad staged and boring. Who would want to spend their life being bored?

Finally JP decides to take it back to junior high as he whisks Ashley around a roller rink while “I Can’t Stop This Feeling Anymore” is playing in the background. Whiny JP was nowhere to be seen; instead we saw his loving Jewish family protect him from the evil clutches of Ashley. Apparently JP has a skelton in his closet, and this female skeleton caused him (and his family) a lot of grief, so they are a little nervous to see JP jumping in head-first with this girl. Finally, a family who can see this for what it is…”reality” TV! JP confesses to Ash that, “When I’m with you, I’m on a high and when I’m without you, I’m miserable.” Basically her love is his drug…right? Ash is nervous that JP has been single for so long, but really likes him…so whatever to the crazy factor.

Who got the axe: Ames was sent home, but the only thing people could talk about during the rose ceremony was Ben F.’s slightly less greasy hair. Ames walked away sad and left with this in his head, “I’m back to sharing a lifetime of adventures with myself” …because if reality TV dating doesn’t work out, nothing else will. Right…

Up next: threesomes in Fiji, and Ash gets a surprise visit…get excited.

What did you think of Ames’ creepy family (and his sister’s bizarre hubby)? How cute was JP back in his mini Kirk Cameron days? How ever will Ash choose between Ben and Constantine when the look exactly the same?

Starbucks is my religion and Seventeen is my bible.