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Tuffy Luv Sez: Don’t Boink Your Mom’s Man

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Question?! Answer: Ask Tuffy Luv.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I can’t believe I’m actually writing this but–I’m having an affair with my mom’s boyfriend.

I know. It’s terrible. But it’s complicated.

My mom was never much of a mom to me. Me and my sister lived with her and her husband growing up and she never really cared about us. She always did things with him and left us home alone. I’m older so I always took care of my sister but I was a kid too and I definitely made some mistakes. Me and my sister are really close but she moved out as soon ad she could drop out of high school.

I still live with my mom because I’m trying to go to school and make something of myself. My mom’s husband left like two years ago. Shes been dating this new guy for about a year.

I don’t know why I did it but I hooked up with her boyfriend two months ago after I had a fight with my mom. But we kept hooking up and now I think I’m falling in love with him. He always tells me he’d leave her for me. But I’m scared of hurting my mom. I’m also scared because when she finds out she’s definitely going to kick me out and I still have two years of college left.

What should I do?
Not Sure

Dear Not Sure,

Hoooooo boy.

Well, obviously you’re in the wrong here. You know it. So I’m not gonna chew you out for flooping your mom’s bf.

Here’s what you’re gonna do: STOP SLEEPING WITH HIM. Stop hooking up. Break it off completely.

I actually think it’s better that you don’t tell your mom. I mean, it’s already done. Telling her is just going to hurt her, even if it makes you feel better. I don’t think you get to pass it off. You’re gonna have to live with this shoop.

I also think you need to find a way to move out. This is CLEARLY a bad environment for you. You are harboring a LOT of resentment towards your mom and it’s making you act badly.

Get a part-time job, talk to your college counselor and at the very least start putting together a plan to leave.

I know your mother did you wrong, but the answer is not to do wrong back. You’ve gotta learn to accept your mother as a person. She may have been a lousy mother, but now you’re going to rise above that and become a good, strong, kind adult.

My real worry is for your mother’s safety. If her bf is cheating with you, he might be cheating with others. I really really hope they’re using condoms.

And you need to take a serious look at how you’re living your life and what made you do what you did. I seriously doubt you’re genuinely falling in love with this guy–I think you’re just angry at your mother–but if you are, get out NOW before your feelings turn more serious. He is not yours to keep. He’s not yours at all. You’ve already started down this bad road; now it’s time for a detour.

Take your bad experiences and let them transform you into a better person. Don’t let them make you into this.

Hearts & Skulls,
Tuffy Luv

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