Dorm Hall Boards RAs Should Make, But Never Will


If you’ve lived in a dorm, chances are you’ve seen (and completely ignored) many-a-dorm hall board. That’s because normally they tell you things like what fast food places are the closest, which you could have learned by stepping out the door. However, there is some info that we KNOW our RAs have that could be super useful to those innocent and naive freshmen living on their halls. Unfortunately, RAs are supposed to be mature and trustworthy authority figures who only offer PG words of wisdom.
But, in an ideal world, here’s a few things we wish they could share.
1. Schedule of weekly drink specials at local bars. Makes it cheaper to accomplish what my friends and I like to call the Freshman Challenge–going downtown every single night of the week.
2. How to walk of shame…gracefully. Like, what shoes am I supposed to wear on the way home? Because these Gaga heels are not gonna cut it in the morning.
3. How to smoke weed in your room without getting caught. A lot harder than sneaking some drinks, so if your RA knows how, he/she is an angel.
4. Ways to sneak alcohol into booze-free rooms. It’s not usually that hard, but we could use some tips anyway.
5. Bars that will let you in when you haven’t quite reached 21. Because college kids are in school for 2 whole years before they get there.
6. Classes that you can ace without trying at all..or even showing up. My school has a class called “walking.” Get involved.
7. How to avoid the freshman 15. Most RAs would be too sensitive to the feelings of their hall dwellers to suggest that they need to get to the gym every once in a while. But…I know someone should have been there to tell me
8. Liquor stores that are lenient with fake IDs. Along with their addresses and MapQuest directions on how to get there.
9. Cheapest bars. Hey, our pockets aren’t deep.
10. Hottest (but not creepiest…) older guys. Because we all know they like freshmen.

Candy Dish: 20 Years Old?!
Candy Dish: 20 Years Old?!
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