Ditch the Stage Five Clinger for Good

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The movie Wedding Crashers infamously coined the term Stage Five Clinger, and, from that single event, millions of loving-but-needy individuals witnessed the screeching halt of their dating lives. The kind of people who would say things like You kissed me on our first date, does that not mean we’re getting married? or I know we only slept together once, but where do you think we should vacation when we have a family? types. The ones who would think nothing of calling you 173 times a day, confirming your plan to confirm your plan for dinner and reminding you to take your calcium pill because, “babe, bone density loss prevention starts now.”

Though we now know what to call these super clingy folks, and typically know what signs to look out for when entering a relationship, sometimes they manage to latch themselves to us anyway. F*****ck!!

So when you’ve got some “Well, I thought he was cute at the time…” guy blowing your phone up and wanting to see you all. the. time., what’s a girl to do? Ditching the Stage Five Clinger is tricky territory, but luckily we’ve got the answers for you.

COLLEGECANDY Writer
COLLEGECANDY Writer