He Said She Said — Dirty Talk

Hi there ladies (and gents), we’re about to get real up-close and personal for this one! I’ve given you some insight into my bedroom comfort zones and what my views are on “hooking up,” but this one is going to be really fun.
Let me give you the little rundown of my relationship history: I have been in two serious, long-term relationships (I’m 21-years-old, if you’re wondering) and had a few flings here and there in between. Let’s just say, I’ve either got to know the guy well enough to say some pretty ridiculous stuff (in bed) or at least have enough vanilla vodka in my system to let my inhibitions (and dignity) fly to the wind.
The first time I ever had sex was with my high school boyfriend. We were young and in love and blah blah blah. Either way, when we started having sex, I was silent! I didn’t really know any different. I was smart enough not to venture onto the family computer to do “research” but I was dumb enough not to take a hint from movies and the go-to for teens, Cosmo. I mean, just like every other teenage girl, I was obsessed with that super steamy sex scene from The Notebook, but felt that since I wasn’t being thrust up against a wall and aggressively pushed onto a bed (aggressively is said in the best way possible for this one, obvs…it’s Ryan Gosling) that I shouldn’t be vocal about my experience. Maybe my first boyfriend wasn’t the best in bed, but over time I realized something was missing on my end in our sex life…and it was the dirty talk.
Thus, when I moved into the intimacy realm with my second boyfriend, it was a much better experience. Not only was I a little older and more developed and confident in my body (gee, thanks boobs for bypassing high school and popping up now that I’m about to graduate college), but I had already learned that talking dirty to your partner makes sex a lot more fun! Needless to say, this time around involved more dirty talk, which in turn made for steamier sex.
And no, dirty talk doesn’t just have to be during sex, it can be in text form (be careful, though!) or simply to get someone riled up for you. Do you feel like being a tease? Throw him a little dirty talk. In the mood and want him to speed race over to your place? Say something you wouldn’t normally say! It’s all in good fun, after all!
So what exactly qualifies as dirty talk? Here are some examples:
Trying to be a tease or get him over to your place stat?
“I had this crazy dream where you did ______ to my ______…Let’s make that happen!” Insert your fantasy in the blanks.
…While actually doing the dirty? These words or phrases are classics:
“Oh yeahhh right there…”
“Don’t stop!”
“Ride me!” (Great for all you reverse cowgirl lovers out there).
“Oh you like that?” (“Dat” if you so choose).
“_____” (Insert name of dude) then repeat louder and louder.
Want to really be unforgettable, regardless of your abilities in bed? Take it from Dane Cook and say something along these lines…
“Ugh yeah, my dick feels like corn!” –Guy
“Give me the butter baby, give me the butter!” –Girl
He may not ever speak to you again…or maybe you’ll quickly find out he loves it and you two are dirty corn-talking soul mates.
And if you and your guy are into something a little different, you can always play it like my freshman roommate (yes, the one who scarred me for life with her late night rendezvous five feet away) and play the name game. One night she was with this guy who wanted her to call him “Papa,” then add a different name at the end. The final name that stuck was “Papa Giorgio.” As if the entire encounter wasn’t awkward enough, she had to shout some random Italian name that sounded like a damn pizza place! So if you think you want to spice things up…I recommend you start shouting “Papa Giorgio” and see what happens. Who knows, maybe he’ll totally dig it. Then again, maybe he’ll think you don’t know his name or are thinking of someone else during the act…Hmm, your call on that one.
Now remember, there’s a difference between a nice pleasure moan and talking dirty. Some girls aren’t vocal, period. Others like both and some choose either the moans or the talk. As I always say, everyone is different, and sex is no exception! Do what you feel comfortable doing (or saying, in this instance). But no matter what, I can pretty much guarantee he’s going to like it.
Curious to see what he like to shout (and hear shouted) in the throes of passion? Head on over to COED to see what He Said on the matter!

Tuffy Luv Is A Homewrecker
Tuffy Luv Is A Homewrecker
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