Lies We Tell Our Friends About The Guys Who Aren't Into Them

The phone rings, you see it’s your best friend calling. Expecting a hilarious story about the drunken memory you two had forgotten from the night before, you answer ecstatically. But instead she’s crying—blubbering, over her boyfriend and you realize where this conversation is going. We’ve all been there, on the crying end or the comforting end. While both positions are awful, there is something especially dire about telling your best friend that he didn’t call you back because he clearly has Aspergers. Or likes other guys. With this burden in mind let’s review some of the classic “what I say and what I really mean” lines we all tell our best friends.
“He’s just really, really busy right now!”
Why anyone believes us when we say these things is beyond me, but I guess we all just hear what we want to hear. When someone says that to you it obviously means that he doesn’t like you, he’s not calling you back and maybe you shouldn’t have introduced him to your parents three dates in.
“Maybe he just needs time to miss you.”
Um, no. He doesn’t. He is definitely having sex with a freshman right now, and you definitely need to do the same.
“I’m sure they’re just friends.”
If friends meant two individuals who have lots and lots of sex with each other, then yes, they’re the best of friends.
“You know a drunk mind speaks a sober heart.”
Actually, guys will say anything when they’re drunk. And you know what? I don’t blame them, because I do the same. I tell people I’m related to Sean Kingston after 3 shots; sue me. When it comes to your best friend being upset about a guy who liked her so much at a bar, and not so much the next morning…let’s be real here.
“They always come back in the long run.”
Just because it happened for Carrie Bradshaw, doesn’t mean it’s going for you or your best friend. I’m sorry to lay this hard truth down on you guys but it had to be done.
Next time one of your girl friends is crying over a guy, try something new and tell them the truth, gently. It’ll help them in the long run and honesty is always the best policy.

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