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Why Girls Go for A-Holes


Why do nice guys finish last and douchebags get first crack at the girls of the nice guys’ dreams? Why do all women seem to go through a phase where they are inextricably drawn to as*holes who make them miserable? These are the questions asked all throughout high school, college, and even beyond, when the real world crashes all those Saved by the Bell ingrained clichés. I think I’ve got a clue.

Well, more accurately, I’ve got some opinions. Maybe a few ideas. Even a couple of timey-wimey theorems. They all center around one main fundamental premise: women will delude themselves into thinking that, deep down in places they don’t like to talk about at parties, they deserve the as*hole, they need the as*hole, they want the as*hole. They use words like “misunderstood,” “temperamental,” and “rugged.” They use these words as the backbone of a relationship defending something, we use them as a punch line to their self-created and self-perpetuating doomed-to-fail situation.

There are times where it just feels like being a decent, courteous, guy, is a futile f*cking enterprise. If you’re “sweet” then you can’t be sexy. If you’re “generous” then you’re a pushover. If you’re “sensitive” then you’re either gay or just a p*ssy. For some reason, acting like Mr. Right eliminates you from the running of being Mr. Right Now. Mr. Right Now oftentimes treats her like crap. And she knows it. So, why does she put up with it?

One common reason I’ve heard from many a gal who’ve gone through their bad boy phase, is that they know it won’t go anywhere so it was harmless. Meanwhile, they end up crying into a bin of Ben & Jerry’s for two to three months after the break up. Another longtime cliché of an excuse is the ol’ “he’ll change.” WRONG! He won’t change. He doesn’t change. Not while he’s with you because somehow you allow him to be every bit of the jackass he was before he met you.

A lot of folks seem to chalk it up to confidence. The as*hole actually makes the first move. He acts like the alpha male. He takes his shot. That’s sexy. That’s attractive. And let’s face it, he who waits is left behind with his dominant hand for company. Is it really that simple? The as*holes get the worm because they’re the early birds? Can it all be reduced to something so…pedestrian and preventative. That basically means that all these nice guys are lacking is a set of vocal chords and timing. Does that sound right to you? It sorta does to me. It also sorta sounds like BS.

What does happen is you get a whole generation of nice guys who think that they need to become as*holes in order to get laid, to get attention, to get the girl. Therefore, they aspire to be as*holes and what does that produce for the world: MORE DAMN AS*HOLES! Talk about a vicious cycle. But it keeps getting perpetuated and both genders are to blame. Hell, the whole social experience from the ages of twelve to twenty-three seem to blame.

One thing I kept hearing all my life was: “Wait until you’re older.” As if age and maturity actually had a definite correlation. How many uncles do you have that act like twelve year-olds? Seriously, that’s just a band aid for a guy’s broken and battered self-esteem. Always the friend, never the f*ck buddy.

If I sound P.O.ed it’s because I AM! I’ve seen many a decent gal and guy put themselves through the wringer, invite years of emotional trauma, and degrade themselves with experiences they knew would only lead to catastrophe, and all for seemingly no reason at all. So, this article full of opinions really is one big ploy to pose the question directly to you, ladies: Why do girls go for the as*holes? Why does it take having your heart Cuisinarted for a bunch of years to get you to give another like at the nice guys? Please, I’m begging you. Make me understand.

What we have here is a failure to communicate,

Cool Hand Dude

And check out a gallery of the biggest a-hole celebs in Hollywood!

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