Seventeen Says The Darndest Things: November Edition

Seventeen continues to perturb me in ways that Glamour never has. I just can’t get over the one-dimensional messages this magazine is sending to girls. Maybe my pearl-clutching is a little out of hand, but it makes me nervous that right there on the cover is the tagline “Hair & Makeup Ideas That Make You Instantly Prettier!” Like teenage girls don’t face enough pressure in regards to conforming and being pretty in their every day lives. That said, I do appreciate that most of the girls who appear in the fashion spreads aren’t preternaturally pretty and actually look like girls you’d see wandering around a high school.
The relationship advice is mostly pretty harmless. Their section that is dedicated to getting inside the male mind was pretty standard, although I wish they would have included a snarky comment next to the guy who says he’s always thinking of ways to go even further sexually – stay classy, William, aged 19. Their quiz asking, “Do Guys Think You’re Desperate,” though, was way too harsh!
Seventeen says: You immediately friend guys you meet on Facebook and check for signs that you might be a good match.
Jasmine says: Perhaps this is just my stalkery curious nature, but I fail to see the problem with this. The best part about online networking is the opportunity to assess the situation. I’ve dodged many a bullet just by during a quick Facebook/Twitter/LinkedIn search.
Seventeen says: When you click with someone, you can’t help imagining you two as a couple.
Jasmine says: Is that not normal? I know it’s all cool to be detached and apathetic about relationships, but if you hit it off with someone, it’s natural to mentally explore the great possibilities.
Seventeen says: You like to become besties with your crush’s friends – it’s a good way to get closer to him.
Jasmine says: I am like 99 percent sure that Seventeen has published articles encouraging this behavior. And besides, if you start seeing someone, chances are you’re going to meet and have to make a good impression on his friends anyway, so you might as well get the balling rolling.
Seventeen says: When talking to your crush, you find yourself writing marathon texts or FB messages.
Jasmine says: Okay, turning what are supposed to be two-sided convos into a one-sided monologue is never a positive attribute. This is legit.

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