Lesson #43 – Sometimes A Friend Isn’t Worth Keeping
Maybe I’m just one of the lucky ones, but my high school years never once made me wonder when my life had become an episode of The Hills. The peak of drama during my high school years included deciding whether to play it safe and straighten my hair or to take a chance on my unpredictable waves on yearbook picture day. When college rolled around, the drama remained relatively low as I clung to a small inner-circle of good friends and the few boyfriends I had through the years. I can’t help but feel lucky with my less-than-turbulent recent years, but since it appears that single life and drama can sometimes go hand in hand, so here are my tips on how to deal.
We’ve all heard the classic rule that “no man is worth losing a friendship over,” and while I whole-heartedly agree when it comes to close friends, I can’t say that I agree in all instances. As girls, we all have that one friend who, for whatever reason, seems to only want to know about your dating life. Every time you grab lunch with her, the topic of conversation is always centered around what guys you’re currently dating or what guys you want to date, and every time you try to steer the conversation away from dating, she immediately brings it right back. It’s almost as if she doesn’t really care about you, because has no interest in anything you do, just the guys you date.
Though I’m sure many are bound to disagree, I consider this an exception to the “no man is worth it” rule. If the extent of your relationship with a girlfriend is based on discussing guys, then it’s not a surprise if you lose her friendship over a guy because it seems as though that’s the only realm you two have ever shared with one another. Clearly I wouldn’t advocate this for most friendships you have, but instead just for those few girls in your life who have never seemed to care much about your life outside of the time you spend discussing guys with her.
It’s also worth disclosing that if you do sever ties with a girlfriend over a guy, then you should realize that blame is an equal opportunity employer. For whatever reason, girl drama tends to place all of the blame on the girl and yet the guy, who is just as deserving (if not, more) goes unscathed. Just because you lose a friendship over a guy, doesn’t always mean you don’t lose the guy too. And if you end up making the judgment call that a guy is worth the mess he was partially to blame for, then out of respect for the girlfriend you lost and for yourself, let your guy know what he did isn’t going to fly again.
Lastly, and most importantly, remember that just because you sever ties with a girlfriend doesn’t mean you have to do it without class. You don’t need to make it your business to make this girl’s life a living hell simply because she wronged you and you really don’t need to destroy her life to rebuild your own. If you’re going to drop a friend, then drop her and don’t come back to it if you don’t have anything nice to say. Girl drama is cyclical if you deciding severing ties is the best decision for you then do your part to break the cycle by actually breaking it, and moving on with your life.
Got it? Feel empowered? Good. Now get the first 42 rules of the Single Girl Society