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Mommy Buy Me This! Ten Toys We Needed as Kids

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A little fun fact for you: Black Friday is already making more headlines this year than Santa Clause.

I planned on going out in my Halloween costume again this weekend to take advantage of all the leftover candy but… who knows what’ll be left since everybody’s already pulling their greys out trying to cut out all the Black Friday 2am, 356th person in line coupons they can find in the Penny Saver.

Speaking from experience (because last year I had this crazy idea that it would be fun to go Black Friday shopping with my mom and my aunt at two in the morning), Black Friday is about the least enjoyable ‘holiday’ out there. The idea of waking up at that unhappy hour again this year to go stand in line and buy my 26-year-old brother a new tie sounds anything but enjoyable. I would – honestly – rather get the flu shot every hour for 24 hours than go out with all the crazies in the wee hours of the morning.

Then I remember all the Ole Saint Nick believing, milk and cookie leaving, cute-as-hell kid that wakes up on Christmas morning overjoyed that Santa took notes on all the things she asked for. Hell, she didn’t spend 12 months and 24 days being nice to her older brother for no reason now, did she!?

Moms, if you’re not in that 3,000 person line at 12:53am ready to dive on top of all the other carriage-pushing moms you see to get your hands on this year’s Hess truck, well, you’re not going to leave the store with the collectable. Then that cute little kid that Santa is supposed to surprise on Christmas morning morphs into a temper-tantrum-having, toy-throwing sociopathic maniac who uses his bacon to carve holes in the wall.

Because everyone would rather talk about getting up early to “beat the rush” and save money instead of figuring out ways to save room for another piece of pie, let’s remember all the things Santa had better have gotten his jolly ass in line for when we were kids.

COLLEGECANDY Writer