CollegeCandy's Exclusive Interview with Iliza Shlesinger

Recently, we got the chance to interview Iliza Shlesinger, the first funny-gal to walk away with the Last Comic Standing title. After walking home a winner, we followed her comic genius on her personal twitter, @iliza. Now she plays the bad guy on the hot new dating show, Excused. The reality dating show is set to take off tonight on VH1, but check you can check the Facebook fan page for Excused to find out when and where the show will be playing on your network.
On the show, Iliza kindly excuses possible dates based on the first impression they give the contestant. Unlike other dating shows, you and I could be contestants on the show! (Tweet the show @excused for more details on how to participate.)
In between her busy schedule and hours of filming for the show, Iliza gave us the answer to a few burning questions we had on our kinky college minds…

1. Off the top of your head, what’s the craziest thing you did in college?
Eesh, one time I ate too many mushrooms. I trashed my room, yelled at a shampoo bottle and seriously contemplated throwing my computer out of the window. Oh, I’ve also been skydiving- so that was super fun.
2.     We’ve heard a lot about your new show, Excused, which begins airing on VH1 on November 14th. (Show also is syndicated across the country – check facebook/excused for local channel and air time). Why should college girls watch this show? What will have us tuning in?
College girls should watch my show because it gives you a crash course in what kind of douche bags are out there waiting for you in the real world. The better prepared you are, the less likely you are to end up dating a white rapper guy with a glittery dragon emblem on his jeans. That goes for guys too, there’s a lot of gross girls out there, it’s better you know what to look for so you can avoid a first date that involves handjobs and subsequent crying.
3.     Who are your biggest comic influences?
I never understood that question or why anyone would care.  I feel like people ask that so they can look at your art, pick it a part and be like “oh, I can see where he/she gets that part from.” But, since you asked, for me, it was never other stand ups. I loved sketch comedy as a kid. SNL, Kids in the Hall, In Living Color. For me it’s always been about characters and scenes- I think that’s why so much of my stand up is big with a lot of movement and voices- it’s colorful. Also my parents are really funny. I can’t tell you which is funnier because if I did and either of them were to read this, there’d be a fist fight…of words. No really, it wouldn’t be fun for me (they’re divorced).
4.     What’s the best moment from filming so far? (Best blooper, best/worst first impression, etc…)
I mean, people are crazy- so it’s always fun to see who walks in that door but once in a while people will have epic meltdowns when they are excused. We had this one blonde girl lose her shit when she was excused at the end of the night. She was HAMMERED and started yelling, cursing, threatening to beat the guy up- she even knocked things over. She was on the war path looking for the guy who excused her (who was sitting on set in another room with me- hiding from her). At one point in her drunken tirade she yelled out “YOU DON’T KNOW WHO YOUR FUCKING WITH! I’M TOM HANKS’ NIECE” and, as you can imagine, we were all super impressed…
5.    Have you ever excused a date the minute you saw them at the door? If so, how did they take it? Didn’t do it? Ever wish you had? Why?
No, because in real life, that’s rude. One time I agreed to go out with this guy who I had met once and, not really remembering what he looked like (thanks to a lot of Mango Vodkas) I went- and when I got to the date, not only was he not cute, he was annoying and kind of bratty. But I stayed for a drink, thanked him and left then did the classy thing by ignoring his texts for the next few days. I’ve had a few people (more guys than girls have admitted this on my show) who tell stories of blind dates where they pull up to pick up the girl, she’s ugly and they drive off. The psychological ramifications of an action like that can be severe and that girl will do one of two things. She’ll either go on to hate men and become like a super slut with issues OR lose the weight, get Proactive and become like SUPER hot but with a chip on her shoulder…her hot, well oiled, perfectly tan shoulder. On camea making funny jokes about someone’s outfit or weirdness is one thing, but to call someone straight up ugly isn’t cool- I never do that on my show. Just remember, as hot as you might think you are, there’s someone out there who finds you repugnant.
6.    We know you see a lot of dating-don’ts on your show, so what are a few things you’re looking for in a guy? What shouldn’t a guy do if he’s trying to impress you at the door?
If a guy wants to impress me at the door…He probably shouldn’t be a contestant on a dating show. But in real life, if I’ve already let you come to my house? It means you’ve already impressed me with either your ability to bench your body weight or your firm grasp of the notion that it’s not okay to wear Sketchers or any sort of MMA apparel.
7.      Can you tell us about your best and worst college dating experience?
I can’t. I didn’t “date” in college, I kind of always had a boyfriend. Just because I make jokes on a dating show doesn’t mean I’m Carrie Bradshaw.
8.  Any tips for a girl about to embark on a classic walk of shame?
Can’t say I’ve ever had a walk of shame…because, even as a drunken 19 year old, I knew better than to sleep with a random dude and then walk home in my Wet Seal mini dress. Tip number one, ask that asshat to walk you home, for god’s sake, there’s bears outside.
9. If you had to spend the rest of your life only making fun of one celebrity, who would it be? 
I guess myself- which I already do…because I’m a stand up comic. The celebrity part is questionable though.
10. Drink of choice?
For like getting drunk? Anything fruity. If it’s got mango in it, it’s going on my tab, oh, I also like pear. Other than that I usually drink water- I also love Red Bull. LOVE IT…oo and fun coffee drinks
11. A lot of our readers are constantly debating between reaching for their dreams or shooting for a realistic, attainable career goal.  What would you say to those readers?
If you have to debate that choice, then you’re not cut out for your dreams. Passion always finds a way. Follow your passion and everything else will work out. No one ever made it as a famous actor by also working full time as an accountant. When I decided to do stand up comedy full time (without any offers from anyone to make that a reality) I quit my job. I knew that I couldn’t devote myself to writing, doing sketches, going on the road etc unless I made the choice to make it a full time endeavor. So I quit my office job and made it work. I got paid to write web shows, I got paying stand up gigs, I sold a web series I did anything I could within the realm of comedy to stay afloat…and then I got on Last Comic Standing 6 weeks later and ended up winning. A non traditional road to success, but a road I actively chose to go down vs staying at an office job and dabbling in stand up. Just go for it, you can always get another shitty job if all else fails.
12. What’s the most surprising thing about filming a TV show that non-TV stars would be shocked to learn?
It takes a really long time. Our show takes over thirteen hours a day to shoot just one date. It’s a marathon. It can take hours just to get a few moments  so THINK ABOUT THAT the next time you’re at home drunk makin’ out with a dude and have my show on in the background so you can have a little bit of  mood lighting the dark so that when you take your clothes off he can get the idea of your body without seeing anything too close up. IT TAKES HOURS TO MAKE THE ART YOUR TAKING FOR GRANTED! hahah also sometimes I don’t wear shoes if I have a long dress on, no one at home can tell.

Candy Dish: Repeat Offender
Candy Dish: Repeat Offender
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