Liveblogging the Twilight: Breaking Dawn Trailer

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I’m sure I don’t have to remind all of you Twi-hards what movie is coming out this weekend. But for all of the rest of us who don’t care about Kristen Stewart or Taylor Lautner’s abs, guess what? Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part One is coming out this weekend! Yes, they have broken the final book into two movies (kind of like a better series of books about wizards did), and now we get the pleasure of seeing a bunch of crazies lined up outside movie theaters all weekend.

The trailer for the movie makes it look like a dramatic, werewolf-filled episode of Vampire Teen Mom. I live-blogged while I watched the trailer to give you all a better idea of what this AMAZING movie is actually about.

The following preview is appropriate for all audiences? Awesome, my vampire baby can watch.

Cool lake shot. Reminds me of when my life was simple, before Twi-hards infiltrated the world.

Kristen Stewart before walking down the aisle says, “Don’t let me fall, dad.” That’s what you’re worried about? Falling? Not being with a VAMPIRE?

Cute wedding headpiece

God, he is SO pale.

Ah yes, here’s Taylor Lautner. Team Edward or Team Jacob? How about Team No More Twilight?

Vampires can drive?

Now this is why we are waiting in line for eight hours. The sex scene!

Naked water fall scene! Two pale bodies embraced as one.

Ms. Stewart, I believe you’re pregnant with a demon baby.

THE FETUS IS INCOMPATIBLE WITH YOUR BODY! Whatever shall our golden couple do?

Jacob is about to fight Edward? I hope Jacob wins. Did Edward ever have a Taylor Swift song written about him? No!

Bella is the enemy now, Jacob! Protect your tribe!

Now she’s really gaunt and pale. Is she looking into a career as a runway model?

The werewolves are coming for Bella. I would rather be attacked by werewolves than Twi-hards.

Who are these other pale people? Why are they taking this blonde girl? She’s the only normal looking person in this movie.

Lots of running. These vamps are athletic.

Yay! A birthing scene grosser than the ones they showed us in health class in middle school.

How nice! At the end, they give us the appropriate hashtag to tweet about how much we love the movie.

And that wraps up my trailer live blogging. Makes you want to see the movie, right?

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