Dear Tuffy Luv,
My roommate forced me to get an account on plentyoffish.com, where I actually met a really nice guy, Ryan. We started talking and I found out that we went to the same high school, and graduated the same year (coincidence!). We talked on Plenty of Fish for a few days and then I gave him my phone number (we did go to high school together, after all).
Everything was going GREAT and we really hit it off. He’s Catholic, I’m Catholic. He’s a Republican, I’m a Republican. He works construction, and he seems like a really nice person. We have a lot in common and we remember each other from high school, kind of.
Here’s the PROBLEM. Every time we make plans to hangout, he ALWAYS backs out. I mean I talk to the guy for at least an hour a day (texting, calling, Facebook, etc) and he won’t meet up. He asked me out on a date once and I said sure and then we decided to meet at this concert we both wanted to go to. I told him to bring a friend, and I brought a friend…he never showed.
He always asks me out and asks me to hangout with him but then when we plan on meeting somewhere he stands me up or complains because he doesn’t want to meet my friends because it would be “awkward.” YES of course it will be awkward at first, but have a few drinks, loosen up!
I think it would be awkward if we met just the two of us for the first time (since high school) without friends or at least alcohol present. Am I wrong? Should I meet him for lunch just the two of us, or should he just grow some BALLS and suck it up…meet my friends and ME?
I have a feeling that he might be the one…just from what we talk about and everything, but if we never meet, how can we have a relationship? Do I stop talking to him? On the other hand if I pass him up, I might regret it for the rest of my life. Opinion pleasee?!
-Stood up and Shot down.
Dear Stoop up and Shot down,
No! Bad girl!
In other words:
SIT THE FLOOP BACK DOWN.
Something is obviously SERIOUSLY wrong. He won’t meet up. He’s canceling or just not showing. In spite of you saying that you’re uncomfortable meeting solo the first time, he is insistent (and, in fact, unbudging) in his need to meet you by yourself.
SHADY SHADY SHADY.
No no no, girl. Don’t meet this guy without a friend. I am getting a BAD BAD vibe.
Okay, to be real, he is probably not a serial killer. He’s probably sinister in a much more minor way.
But why take the chance?!
Look, either way, he is purposely making you uncomfortable by insisting you do something you’ve already said you don’t want to do. If he’s already this creepy and pushy and controlling, how do you think he’s going to be in a relationship?!
And you want to MEET this guy?!?!!?!?!
No, girl. Sit. Heel. Stay.
Hearts & Skulls,
Question?! Answer: Ask Tuffy Luv.
Dear Tuffy Luv,