The Worst Email From a Guy You'll Ever Read

Last night, Gawker threw up the red flags on a dating disaster. Since the hot topic features the timeless men versus women debacle, I thought it would only be polite to share our feminine two cents.
If I’ve piqued your interest, bring your nose a little bit closer to the screen. Before you read the article (or if you’re too lazy to), here’s the gist of what’s going on: in a long, elaborate e-mail (where this guy searched his distressed lady friend, “Lauren”, to find out her personal info), he accuses “Lauren” of sending deeply mixed and confusing signals on their first date. He then goes on to exemplify all of the reasons that they should be together and how he will be patiently waiting underneath his Christmas tree for her forced, uh.. sincere apology.
Because I find this both totally outrageous and completely understandable (its the classic I’m just not that into you vs. how come he didn’t return my calls?), I wanted to break down just what, exactly, he is so bitter about and whether or not he’s got an honest point.
He Says: On their date, “Lauren” played with her hair a lot and any woman playing with her hair for more than .13345 seconds when in the presence of a man is obviously flirting. To make matters worse, “Lauren” held eye contact on her date with him. She kept looking at him when he was talking. On a “per-minute basis”, He has never shared that much eye contact with another girl. Another obvious giveaway that she has feelings for him. Between scarfing down an appetizer, entree and dessert, they shared a nice, steady flow of conversation. At the conclusion of their whirlwind first date, “Lauren” committed the ultimate date-hate by telling he, ‘it was nice to meet you.’ Because in 2011, any walking and talking human with manners is obviously the worst kind of individual. The awful icing in the cake is that “Lauren” never returned any of his calls or texts following what he felt was the most incredible date of 2k11.
We Say: We’re girls. We touch our hair. When we’re nervous, when we’re bored, when we’re not sure where to place our hands. Maybe we do it when we’re flirting but it is NOT a dead giveaway that we’re head-over-heels for you. And why are you watching my hair so closely anyway? Eye contact is something that usually makes us comfortable. We’re talking TO you so it obviously makes sense to look at you, right? One + one makes two. It would also be really rude of us to share an entire meal with someone from start to finish and not make any attempt to talk to you (even if we’re not interested in you, not all females are heartless). If we don’t return your calls, your texts, or respond to your creepy emails…. take the hint: we’re just not that into you, guy. And you don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you, right? Right.
Women of the world (okay, fine… men of the world, too), what do you think? Is this letter over the top or does he kind of have a point? Make sure you tell us in the comments and then head over to the Frisky for their take (spoiler alert: it’s different than ours).

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