Dear Mom, I Don't Want a Boyfriend

Dear Mom,
Lately you’ve been giving me an earful about how “my generation” is somewhat selfish, immature and materialistic, which is evident in our relaxed, no-rush approach to marriage, babies and careers. You’ re not being mean, just observational. “Your generation” started younger, so to say; marriage, babies and careers happened in your twenties not your thirties as it does more often in today’s world. Although you strongly believe it is different for everyone, you seem to have a special standard for me personally. You were married with your first kid by the time you were twenty-five…and that was after being a fashion merchandising buyer for the once popular clothing store A&S. (Superwoman.) You never had a problem with me being single until I turned twenty in September of this year. All of a sudden my relationship status has become a constant topic of conversation. I know you want what’s best for me mom but I have to be honest. With all due respect, Mom, I don’t want a boyfriend.
My friends and siblings are in relationships and I am so very happy for them because I get it — relationships are great. But right now I am at a place in my life where being single is great for me. Here’s why…
1. For starters, I’m not ready. I recognize the fact that I am too immature to be in a committed relationship. I’d rather not waste someone else’s time just because I want a little bit of comfort in my life. When I get into a relationship I want to be able to give my whole self not just a part of myself.
2. Secondly, I am too selfish. I am still in college and I’d rather spend my time with my friends, my school work, my extracurricular activities and my parties. Yes maybe that’s juvenile but I’d rather be juvenile now rather than later. Everyone deserves to be selfish once in their life.
3. Thirdly, I don’t have enough time. I know that sounds ridiculous and like an excuse but the truth is I’d rather plan my schedule around myself rather than around mine and someone else’s. I have my whole life to plan around my husband and children. Right now I’d just like to plan it around my own.
4. I love being independent. I love doing things on my own and going places on my own. I love making my own decisions and making my own choices. As Kelly Clarkson once said, I am “Miss Independent.”
5. At this point in my life I am experiencing change all the time; change around me, change within me, plain and simple change. I am constantly exposed to new experiences and opportunities and I don’t want anyone to hold me back. I know a boyfriend would encourage me to have new experiences but I know myself well enough to know that, when in a relationship, his opinion and his feelings matter just as much as my own. Therefore, I’d like to avoid any situation where I potentially would have to hold myself back because of my relationship. As awful as that sounds think about it this way: I’d rather study abroad than have to pass up that opportunity to stay at school with my boyfriend.
6. Finally, let me call a spade a spade. I love going out and being able to do whatever I want. I don’t mean hook up with all the boys I want. Let me reiterate: I am not a slut. What I do mean is that I can go out at a drop of the hat if I’d like and when I go out I can talk to whoever seems interesting or dance however I want and, best of all, accept a drink from whoever I want. I like being free. I like being single.
Mom after explaining my reasoning to you I hope you now understand why I like being single. It’s not that I am anti-relationship, it’s just I am not pro-relationship for myself and myself only. Most importantly Mom, all these reasons will do down the drain when I meet the right guy. Until than I am single and ready to mingle.
Love,
Your Daughter

Candy Dish: Campus Scoop
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