This Post Grad Life: Wedding Bell Blues

The other day, I was driving my trusty steed (aka my white Sonata) down the road. The sun was shining onto my skin and a wintery air pushed my car around the highway while Bruno Mars blared out of the speakers and filled my car with bizarre lyrics (it would take me a lot to catch a grenade for someone I met on My phone vibrated suddenly in its convenient location on my lap and I answered it after nearly pointing my car in the ditch as I shut Bruno right up.
My very lovely girlfriend from college was blowin’ up my iPhone.
“Hey Brit, I have some fabulous news for you!”
Since I’m a hopeless romantic, I immediately knew the news wasn’t about a raise at work, a new house or how she bought herself a new pair of True Religion jeans on sale at Nordstrom Rack. Something about the way the sun was shining from the west today made me feel ridiculously nervous before the words even sprang from her lips. I just knew. It was time.
“I’m engaged!”
And my reaction was as authentic and real as I’d ever imagined. My chest closed all access to breathing/a heartbeat/words and my eyes filled with salty tears. The road blurred in front of me and I let out a breath so large I thought the car would shift in reverse.  Then we had one of those moments over the phone where if we were in person we’d be jumping up and down hugging each other and falling on the floor in a tangled excited mess. This was happening. My first girlfriend was getting married to a person she truly loved and my lady mind couldn’t wrap my thoughts around it.
It happens to all of us. The first of our college girlfriends has a wedding. But there is something so insanely magical about true love and vintage wedding rings and the commitment of it all — it’s hard to believe at first. I couldn’t stop letting it pedal through my mind. Two people that I KNOW are sacrificing a piece of independence to take each other’s hand in marriage. For some reason, it’s not nearly as crazy that my parent’s did the same thing 25 years ago. Why is it such an intricately amazing moment to hear about a recent engagement??
I spent four long and awesome years with this person. Getting to know her, watching her and her boyfriend’s romance unfold. Getting to know him. Hearing all of their stories. Then, we all waited. Talked about who would be the first to be married. Who would be the first girl to put her ‘Wedding Dreams’ Pinterest board into action. And it’s happened. Someone I know (from the most immature four years of our lives) is calling up our college chapel to see when she can walk down the aisle. I’m beside myself with nearly unattainable glee. But I feel like a doopy black lab that doesn’t know what to do with my mouth or hands in reaction to it all.
After talking to her for a long while (how long until she’ll be married, where, when, etc.) I got off the phone and couldn’t get enough silence to let it all sink in. I stared at the white line in the middle of the road and started to cry again. Thinking about my friend getting married of course made me think about my own marriage future. Mine looked suddenly stark white — as if I couldn’t open my eyes wide enough to see a teeny bit of it. When BIG moments happen to friends, it’s only natural to associate them with your own. And here I was, trying to steal a small moment from my friend for myself (while I was alone.) WHY hadn’t I found my prince charming? Was I doing something wrong? Am I not mature enough? Do I have my life together?
But here’s what I decided. We all lead different lives. We have different motivations, passions, paths. And just because a good friend of mine is experiencing this monumental moment in her life before me, it doesn’t mean I am a 24-year-old delinquent who has not an ounce of maturity in my blood and will never find anyone to slip that ring on my finger. I tried to let these calming thoughts sweep over me in my car and started to feel giddy again. I am SO excited for my good friend and her new fiance. Part of growing up is sharing this excitement with them and saving up that positive energy for your own monumental moment.

True or False: All Dancers Have Eating Disorders
True or False: All Dancers Have Eating Disorders
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