Diary of the Undateable: The Best Type of Relationship, According to a Guy

Doesn’t it suck to watch your girls cry? I have way too many unpleasant memories of friends weeping over guys that did them wrong. The worse cases are the breakups that come out of nowhere…one day, everything is a picture-perfect Harlequin romance and the next day it’s like a Terry McMillan novel. Not. Pretty. If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard a tear-soaked “I just don’t understand what happened!” I could probably begin paying off my student loans.
Although my girlfriends have different tastes, there’s always one common factor that I’ve noticed in all of their exes. I think that they’re afraid of commitment. The dudes just can’t stay focused or intrigued (and sometimes faithful) for the life of them! And the crazy part is that when the relationships are going really well, the guys start running away faster than Usain Bolt.
Why do they act this way? If there’s a perfectly smart, attractive, charming, funny and willingly committed young lady basically sitting in your lap, why is there a need to search for the next best thing? Even after all of our dinner time debriefings and Google searches, we still didn’t get it. I decided to ask my friend Javier, the fastest relationship runner/jumper/ducker I know of.
Ladies love cool J. Whenever I’m with him, there’s always a gaggle of girls vying for his attention. He could have any one he wanted…that is, if he wanted to be monogamous. So what’s the big deal about whittling down the big list of potentials? It’s simple, he said. We’re not supposed to be in serious relationships…yet.
“College is already stressful as is,” he told me. “You don’t need extra things to worry about. Take your classes seriously, first and foremost. What if I was in a three-year relationship that ended badly? I’d waste all those years in college when I could’ve been studying!”
I hated to admit that his answer wasn’t totally off base. “Well, what’s the best kind of relationship, then?” I asked. “Just talking? Flirting, dating?”
“The best type of relationship is no relationship,” he said with finality. “A lot of times, we come into college not knowing who we are. We’re defining ourselves right now. A relationship can mess that up. Be single. Have fun.”
And there it is, straight from the horse’s mouth. Loosely speaking, there’s a distinct possibility that my friends’ relationships go bad because their respective boos don’t want to be in relationships at all.
I guess just saying that from the beginning is out of the question, though. Smh.
CollegeCandy, do you agree with Javier? Should the serious relationships wait ‘til graduation?
[Lead image via CREATISTA /Shutterstock]

Friday Faves: True Story – I Have HPV
  • 10614935101348454