magnifier menu chevron-left chevron-right chevron-down

Diary of the Undateable: My Inner Green-Eyed Monster


For some reason, I always feel ignored. I’ve begun to feel like this in talks with friends and in social settings. At first, I didn’t mind playing the role of the supportive homegirl slash wingwoman – I try to pick up calls and answer texts no matter what time of the day it is. I’ll give my limited scope of advice whenever it’s needed. I’ll always provide the necessary “mhmm,” “oh my gosh,” or “what a jerk!” in conversation. That’s always me. But I’ve had enough. I want to be seen and heard too!

Last summer, I was at an amusement park with one of my closest pals. Anytime we stopped to play a game or ride something, she’d get chatted up and I’d be left standing, looking stupid. It’s not her fault, but it’s soooo embarrassing…and a little hurtful, honestly. My friends are always receiving date offers, getting free drinks, meals, emails and good morning texts…sometimes without trying.

No one wants to be overlooked. And even though I’ve tried to make it known, I don’t think they understand how it feels.

I guess I can attribute my feelings to the good ol’ green-eyed monster. I’m jealous of my girls…and I’ve avoided admitting it for ages now.  I feel bad for saying it, but it’s true. I can honestly say without exaggerating that I have some beautiful friends, inside and out. They’re all considered “catches.” I’m envious of certain traits from everyone. One is an awesome, influential public speaker, one has a flawless GPA, another’s a better dresser, another has an unparalleled work ethic – all characteristics that I admire and long for at the same time. When I think about those characteristics – the ones that definitely make them stand out – that damn green-eyed monster strikes again.

So when my friends complain about not finding the right guy or even complaining about guys that they currently have, I get a little frustrated. They don’t realize how good they have it. They don’t realize what it’s like to live life in the undateable lane. Trust me, y’all. It isn’t fun at all. I don’t want to clout my ability of listening and being a good friend with my jealousy, but I wish they could see things from my POV. Here’s hoping.

College Candy, are you jealous of your friends sometimes? How do you deal?

[Lead image via Simone van den Berg/Shutterstock]

    When she’s not watching for Blue Ivy sightings or doing some serious Facebook creeping, Khalea, a recent Howard University graduate, moonlights as a magazine intern and a freelancer in New York City. Follow her on Twitter at @letsbeKHAlear, or feel free to Twatch. Whatever works for you.