Remember the days when a chaste woman wore a white wedding gown and saved herself for the honeymoon? Me neither. Times are changing, and so are society’s views on sex. Just look at prime-time television.
Gone are the days when the big Dawson’s Creek episode was the one that kept everyone glued to the screen trying to guess whether it was Joey and Jack, Pacey and Andy, or Dawson and Jen who finally took their relationship to the next level (remember that one?). Instead, we’ve got Blair and Chuck’s one night stand in the back of a limo (definitely remember that one!).
Outside of the small screen, relationships in the real world are dwindling. “Dating” is becoming a thing of the past, and casual sex is flourishing. The value of the once-prestigious “first time” isn’t such a big deal for many of us as it was for our mothers, aunts, or even our older sisters. Hell, my first time was not the stuff that teen romances are made of, but I walked away without any permanent emotional scars and afterward. Since it was out of the way, I was able to make better choices regarding who I chose to sleep with.
And yet, I couldn’t help but be surprised when my younger cousin proudly announced that sex was one of her favorite activities (albeit with a steady boyfriend, but still). Just a few years age difference, and there’s still a difference in our mindsets.
Sure, there are still plenty of people out there who put a lot of pride into their virginity, and hold out for a long time. There are still plenty of cherries being popped in the honeymoon suite, after all. But our society’s views on sex can send out mixed signals. People who haven’t found “the one” by a certain age begin to feel alienated by their more-promiscuous peers. Nobody wants to be likened to the Forty-Year-Old Virgin, do they?
I don’t think it’s such a big deal. In fact, I think that once you’ve lost it, you can start to enjoy sex, be adventurous, and learn about your partner’s (and your own) body. Why wait for such a wonderfully erotic experience?
That said, I’d like to know: how many CollegeCandy readers out there expected rose petals and fireworks when they finally relinquished their v-card? Furthermore, how many of you just gave it up because you were curious? Whatever the less-than-fairy-tale way we may or may not have lost it, I’m willing to bet that hardly any of us walked away tarnished with a Scarlet Letter.