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A Night to (Almost) Remember, Part II [Diary of the Undateable]


I’m sure if I looked up the top five mistakes you could make on a first date, the following things would be on the list: ditching your studying to go out on said date, allowing the guy to handle your drink without keeping a watchful eye on it, riding in an unknown man’s car, going to his house in the middle of nowhere and letting him blow shotgun kisses into your previously unkissed mouth.

So much wrong in one night.

After we got into the car, I felt relaxed. I thanked my Carrie Bradshaw guardian angel up above for sending me a nice, polite, attractive, well-dressed, date-paying, college educated, law school-pursuing, job-having and car-owning young man. He was totally second date worthy, I thought.

We laughed a lot and talked about almost everything! No awkward pauses. I mentioned that it was 4/20 and asked Tonio if he smoked. I mean, I was just trying to keep the convo rolling. Bad move on my part. I think he took my question the wrong way…by the time I finished asking, he had his lighter in his hand! Damn. I wanted the date to go more John Legend than Bob Marley, you know?

Before I knew it, we were on our way OUT of the way. I don’t drive, but I could tell that we weren’t headed to D.C…the city skyline and outlines of all the monuments started fading far into the distance.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“Just a little lounge by my place,” he answered breezily.

But how come he couldn’t tell me that from the beginning? I knew we weren’t going to a damn lounge as soon as he pulled into his nice, manicured neighborhood. Even though the homes were really cute and the area was seemingly safe, I didn’t feel okay with going to his place so late.

He parked his car in front of a playground where he proceeded to spark up.

“Want some?” he asked, waving the blunt in front of my face.

“Nah,” I said. “Not my thing. Lots of studying to do!”

Maybe he misunderstood me, though. He pressed his lips against mine and blew the smoke into my open, surprised mouth. Four times. My very first kiss…tainted with tree.

I grew even more nervous. I knew that if I got really comfortable with him, things could go bad. He kept on trying to get me to sit down next to him and chill out…”just relax!” he kept on telling me. I politely asked him to take me home.

On the ride back, he pouted the whole time. I got him to crack a smile by the time we got to my friend’s place, but things definitely weren’t the same. “So…can we do this again?” I asked innocently.

“I mean yeah, but it’s you with the busy schedule and everything…” he drifted off.

Yep, that was over. He gave me a half-assed hug and drove off, not even making sure that I got into the building safely.

A few days later, he hit me with the booty text. “U tryna chill??” We went from flirting to first date sparkle to friends with benefits. Never okay. He stopped texting me for good last week.

So whoomp, there it is. It really sucks when a guy is looking for more than you know you’re offering. If he were honest about what he really wanted from the beginning, I wouldn’t have gone out with him in the first place. But hey, c’est la vie. You live and you learn. I see all of my mistakes and from now on, I’ll know how to separate a crush and a conquest. I guess.

When she’s not watching for Blue Ivy sightings or doing some serious Facebook creeping, Khalea moonlights as a print journalism major at the REAL HU, Howard University. Follow her on Twitter at @letsbeKHAlear, or feel free to Twatch. Whatever works for you.

[Lead image via Yuri Arcurs/Shutterstock]

When she’s not watching for Blue Ivy sightings or doing some serious Facebook creeping, Khalea, a recent Howard University graduate, moonlights as a magazine intern and a freelancer in New York City. Follow her on Twitter at @letsbeKHAlear, or feel free to Twatch. Whatever works for you.