How Do I Tell Him He Gave Me An STD!? [Ask a Dude]

Dude, HELP!
There’s this guy I’ve been hooking up with on and off for a few months now. He’s super cute and the sex has always been great. I went to the health center and got my regular 6 month check up and I came up positive for…something. And this guy’s the only one I’ve been with for the last year! How do I tell him that I have an STD and he may have given it to me?
Freaking Out!
Dear Freaking Out!
Wowsers! That’s not awkward. At all. Totes chill…
There’s no easy or gentle way to do this. At the end of the day you’ve got to call him or meet up with him and totally buzz kill the whole thing. You could post it on Facebook. You could tweet it. You could hire a plane and have a smoke message plastered above the quad, making sure his full name and address appear. When you do get his attention though, you’ve got to say, “I have this. Timing points to you giving it to me. Get yourself checked out…And did you know you had it when we hooked up?!?!”
Oh yeah, that thought’s bound to flicker across the back of your brain and why shouldn’t it? I mean, yeah, some STDs are asymptomatic for a while so he might not have known. On the other hand, if he’s sticking it into more than one person then he has a f*cking responsibility to get himself checked out to make sure he’s not spreading anything around.
Is it a question of him being reckless, careless, or just unfortunate? Does it matter? Maybe, maybe not, depends on how you want some closure to this. At the end of the day, you got screwed, in every way.
With something as serious as this, you don’t mince words or pull punches. You should be pissed! IMO. You’ve every right. This wasn’t the hand you deserved to be dealt and it wasn’t the game you sat down to play at. This is a damn pain in the you know where! And he probably caused it! The first thing’s fits though, talk to him and get his dick checked as soon as humanly possible.
Then you can decide where the best spot on campus to hide a body is…
Promoting Your Right To Bear Arms,
The Dude
[Got a Dude itch you just can’t scratch? Sick of trying to come up with a not-totally-crazy-girl way to bring it up to your guy friends and get their take on things? Totally over over-analyzing the cryptic messages he leave on your Facebook Wall? We got your back, girlfriend. Send your question over to askthedude [at] collegecandy [dot] com. The Dude won’t sugarcoat it, beat around the bush, or any other weird cliche that means lie to you. Like a nice, juicy hot dog, he’ll be 100% real beef, 100% of the time. So bring. it. on.]

Face Eating & The Top 10 Craziest Florida News Stories
Face Eating & The Top 10 Craziest Florida News Stories
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