Is Lingerie Necessary? [Ask A Dude]

[Got a Dude itch you just can’t scratch? Sick of trying to come up with a not-totally-crazy-girl way to bring it up to your guy friends and get their take on things? Totally over over-analyzing the cryptic messages he leave on your Facebook Wall? We got your back, girlfriend. Send your question over to askthedude [at] collegecandy [dot] com. The Dude won’t sugarcoat it, beat around the bush, or any other weird cliche that means lie to you. Like a nice, juicy hot dog, he’ll be 100% real beef, 100% of the time. So bring. it. on.]

Hey Dude,

So what do guys really think about lingerie? I recently spent $80 on this super hot outfit and was super excited to wear it for my boyfriend. And then he immediately took it off of me. He saw it on me for about 30 seconds before he was pulling it off. Is it even worth buying?

Trying to be Sexy

Dear Trying to be Sexy,

You have a vagina, you ARE sexy. Alright, that was a bit crass, apologies for being an ass. But if the question’s “To wear or not to wear?” Then the answer is generally, not to wear. Most guys I know really couldn’t give a flying monkey if their girlfriends are wearing lingerie underneath, unless it’s been a LONG time, or it’s a big date night, and the lingerie is part of a special romantic plan. Then, of course, the lingerie is still probably going to fly off after 30 seconds, unless you’re doing some teasing. However, I will say, those 30 seconds are probably going to be AWE-SOME.

For a lot of guys I know lingerie’s like the wrapping. It’s “shiny!” and surprising when you first see it, but not a crucial part of enjoying the experience. Quite frankly, wearing nothing at all might even be sexier…If we’re in the mood to unwrap, then lingerie adds to the atmosphere. If it’s an occasion, then lingerie adds to the atmosphere. If we’re really f*cking horny, then it’s less important and you could have spent your $80 on something else.

Anticipation and presentation can be two wonderful elements to sex. But the factors vary every time. I was with someone once who put on her high school cheerleading outfit to spice up the evening. It was going to be a surprise. And it was. Unfortunately, I wasn’t in the mood. I had just come in out of a blizzard, wet and tired, having trudged for 20 minutes in the snow to make it 4 blocks to her. I was soaked from head to toe from melting snow–frozen from the tips of my fingers to the soles of my feet. We didn’t have sex that night and it had nothing to do with the outfit.

Make your own fun time. Save your money for the student loans. Unless you’re really in the mood and then just be prepared that it’s not about the amount of time you wear it, but the reaction. If he tears your clothes off, that’s a pretty strong reaction…

Throwing out the Victoria’s Secret catalogues,

The Dude

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