Let’s be real, dating can be an absolute nightmare. And how many times have we sent a “this just isn’t going anywhere” text, wishing that we hadn’t just wasted two months of our precious time on this guy? Time we could have spent hanging out with the girls, reading Texts From Last Night, or shaving our bikini lines.
One too many.
And that is why we’re going to help you girls out. Men are very simple creatures, so simple in fact, that they can be neatly organized into a Venn diagram with pretty colors like the ones we used to color in elementary school.
This little ditty sums up the male gender in very simple terms, making it effortless for us girls to identify what sort of person our new prospect actually is, without the wasted month of dating to find out.
And it’s 100% accurate.
If your guy is hot (mmmm!) and he’s nice, he’s dumb. The end.
If he’s nice and knows all the answers in history class? He’s a nerd.
And if he’s answering all those questions while tossing back that gorgeous hair and flexing his muscles, he’s an ass.
Of course there are varying degrees of the above types. Your gorgeous, nice boy may be able to form coherent sentences, but after three weeks of him dying all his whites pink (“Why can’t I just throw in my red boxers?”), the diagram has proved correct.
It might seem too easy. It may seem too shallow. But it also seems eerily true. Thinking back on every guy I’ve ever dated, I can’t seem to find any exceptions to the rules.
Basically, the perfect guy is gay.
End of Story.
What do you guys think? Do these rules ring true in your own dating-and-dumping cycle? Or have you found the exception to the rule? (Yes, this is totally a He’s Just Not That Into You reference)
[lead image of guy via Aaron Amat/Shutterstock]