Apparently I do, Rihanna, and so do a lot of other women.
Every time I hear a girl say something along the lines of “ I just get along better with guys” or “girls are just too much drama,” I suppress an exorcist-level eye roll. I’ve always had a problem with self-proclaimed “guy’s girls.”
After chuckling my way through a recent Betches Love This article entitled “Hating the WGG” (Wannabe Guys’ Girl) and recalling pretty petty conversations with my friends on the topic, I need to figure out what my “prollem,” our problem, with these women actually is. I know, I must own up to the fact that whenever I dislike a woman I barely know, it usually has little to do with her and everything to do with myself. With this list, I attempt tobreak down this unexplored phenomenon.
1. We don’t get it
Full disclosure, I attended an all-girls school for nine years, only lived with my mother during this time, and my older sister is my only sibling. Shockingly, as a rising junior in college, I don’t have a hoard of guy friends. I really value my female friendships, so I don’t fully understand how a girl could get by without a solid group of amigas. I’m not saying I depend on cheesy, sentimental sisterhoods of the traveling pants variety. If I ever propositioned my pals that we pass around the same pair of gross mom jeans this summer as a quirky way to stay connected, they would mock me mercilessly (that’s real sisterhood). It’s just easier to relate to people who automatically occupy a similar identity, reality even. Having a dependable crew of individuals that also know what it’s like to have a vagina comforts me almost as much as old congressmen discussing my reproductive health issues disturbs me.
We live in a world where dynamics between female characters in Sex and City, Mean Girls, and Bridesmaids resonate with many women. Whether it’s a core four, evil clique, or motley crew, a pack of girlfriends often constitutes a large part of a woman’s identity. It may be difficult for some women, like myself, to wrap their heads around the idea that that these storylines don’t replicate themselves in every woman’s experience.
2. We feel threatened
Guy’s girls garner a lot of male attention. Duh. Many of us enjoy attention from the opposite sex. Again, duh. Consequently, even if men place a woman on a purely platonic pedestal, it can incite jealousy from her like-gendered peers. People tend to treat attention achievement as a zero-sum game; this becomes even more painfully obvious when women compete with one another.
Think back to the last time you and your friends gossiped about a girl for having too few female friends while hanging out with guys a little too much (that jezebel!). Did that conversation also involve a guy one of you was interested in or even dating? Let me save you some time. Yes, yes it did. Now let’s say this girl was actually dating one of those guys she hung out with (neither your boyfriend nor your crush). Do you think you would have still had a problem with her?
Some women view other single women as sex time bombs ticking amidst their few good men. So while I’m sure you think your boyfriend is great for you, I’m also sure many other women don’t think he is great for them. And although the porn industry would have us believe otherwise, the average girl finding herself in exclusively male company isn’t going to think “YAY! GANG BANG TIME!”
3. We want to be them
Some women don’t view guys as simply another sex but as an entirely separate species. There are countless books, blogs, and magazines dedicated to understanding men, because an unhealthily huge demand for such knowledge exists.
Some of us resent “guys’ girls,” because they seem to possess secrets Cosmo has convinced us to obtain we would need to hold a dusty talisman up to the sun and steal the Declaration of Independence. Like Nic Cage’s career, the search for these “secrets” can be bewildering, never-ending, and disappointing because ultimately they don’t exist. The journey will only deliver much shit-losing.
4. We think they don’t like us
My main problems with self-proclaimed “guy’s girls” are statements such as “Girls are too dramatic, sensitive, complicated, or gossipy. So I don’t hang out with them.”
Although these women seem progressive in that they bridge the gender friendship gap and often don’t adhere to their own gender norms, a few actually appear regressive in their assertions and assumptions about most other women. In making blanket statements and avoiding interactions with their own gender, some “guys’ girls” appear to perpetuate the beliefs that women are overemotional and underhanded. Yes, there are definitely recognizable differences between genders, but they’re not hierarchical.
Also, are girls really more dramatic than guys? Has anyone else ever seen a professional soccer foul? Women who blindly bash other women legitimize many misogynistic myths. I find this type of rhetoric harmful in the way “slut” is harmful when said by women especially. I’ve hated on “guys’ girls” because I believe they hate on girls. And that’s just not what I’m about… Apparently, I’ve also believed that hypocrisy was an old, old physician from ancient Greece.
So I guess you could say I’m nearly reformed. The “guy’s girls” I’ve met recently are actually pretty awesome. We shouldn’t red flag a girl with few girlfriends (you wouldn’t want to miss out on becoming chummy with Kristen Wiig would you?). And hey, someone could red flag my lack of close guy friends too.
[thumbnail image of girl via konstantynov/shutterstock.com]