An Open Letter to My Virgin Self

Hey there, former me. Losing your virginity is a big deal, and I just wanted to prepare you for when the time comes. First off, don’t be scared. It won’t be how you imagined it to go, but then again, that’s not always a bad thing. You won’t love him, but he’ll be the right one. You’ll think he’s cute, and he’ll compliment you too much, but this will work. Love and sex are not synonymous, but it doesn’t matter to you. This is the joy of waiting till you’re absolutely ready. Everything just falls into place. Sure, you will still feel like a 16 year old girl after prom, but these are simply butterflies, and they will settle down soon enough.

Things are going to move quickly and in no time at all, you’ll be in action. I cannot tell you how “next thing I know” this situation is. One minute you’re innocently kissing, and then “next thing [you] know” you’re being thrown onto his bed. Do not overlook birth control. If he wants you, he’ll have to use it. Simple as that. You may like the guy, but he’s not worth your first kid.

Here’s a big tip: do not feel insecure when you’re naked. He wanted you like that for a reason, so own up to what you’ve got and use it to your advantage. The cellulite under your left butt cheek is not what he’ll be noticing, so put it out of your mind. Men are simple creatures – you’re naked and you can see in their eyes that that is all they are thinking about. The more insecure you become, the more he’ll feel as if he’s doing something wrong. This is not to say you’re not allowed to be somewhat squeamish, but live the moment just as you are. After all, he liked you enough to get you this way. Do you want to be here? If yes, then it’s time to kick the self conscious elephant out of the room. Do-Not-Disturb. Finito. You are the weakest link, goodbye.

Sleeping with someone for the first time, no matter whether it is literally your first time, is an experience where you get to know their likes, dislikes, etc. Don’t be afraid to ask little questions. Now, this isn’t a time to whip out your notepad, but little comments here and there are never a bad thing. Don’t hush up and expect that everything that is happening has to continue that exact way. Take a sexual stand! You deserve it, he deserves it. Not to sound like a video from your freshmen year health class, but communication is the key to a good experience. No words have been truer.

When it’s over, you won’t expect to feel how you do. There will be no sense of clingyness, no need to cuddle after. In fact, you’ll say your goodbyes and even feel fine with the idea of never seeing him again. Congratulations, you are not an attached bleeder. Go home, wash up and tell all of your friends. When he texts you later, accept the fact that you are now a sexually active being. Embrace it, love it, respect it.



[lead image of couple via robbypreet/Shutterstock]

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