Dear Tuffy Luv,
I’m in a very uncomfortable situation at the moment. My best friend has liked our mutual good guy friend for some months now, and I actually met him through her. The problem is he likes me, and she’s the one who told me this information. Now that I know this, it’s kind of obvious when I talk to him. This has happened before in the past and it really messed up our friendship for a while. I feel guilty talking to him as I don’t want to lead him on or hurt her, but I just genuinely enjoy talking to him and spending time with him! How do I solve this issue without hurting both of my friends and losing their friendships?!
– In a Jam
Dear In a Jam,
Um…don’t talk to him? Obviously, your best friend’s feelings come before any of this junk with this guy. And she does NOT want you getting involved with him or even just making him think he has a shot. HE DOES NOT HAVE A SHOT. Okay?! You dig. DO NOT, repeat, DO NOT GIVE HIM A SHOT.
The fact that you say this has happened before, you see, makes me really flooping nervous. Why did you let it happen the first time around?!?!?! And now that you now it CAN happen, how can you even CONSIDER taking a chance it could happen again?!!??!!!??!
You know what? Honestly, I think you “just genuinely enjoy talking to him and spending time with him” because you like the attention. You KNOW he likes you and you KNOW that hurts your friend. The answer is obvious. And you know it.
So why do you continue to want to hang out with him?! It’s fine to hang out in a group, but CEASE “spending time with him.” CEASE giving him any opportunity to think he has a shot. I repeat: If you don’t totally suck as a friend, HE DOES NOT HAVE A SHOT.
So suck it up and either (a) only hang out with him in groups and get over it (because, really, he’s clearly NOT your only friend), or (b) have a talk with him. But truthfully, I think having the talk will be both MUCH more damaging for your friendship with him (it’s embarrassing to him) and the crap that could potentially go on between you and your bestie (she’s going to probably be pissed because he’ll find it out was her who told you blah blah fart).
HANG OUT WITH HIM IN GROUPS ONLY. Or betray all womankind.
Hearts & Skulls,
Ask Tuffy Luv at tuffluvcc [at] gmail [dot] com
Btw, kids, Aunt Tuffy will be on vacation next week. See you later, Tuffigators. Or whatever.
[Lead image via Dmitriy Shironosov/Shutterstock]