When it comes to love, I’d say that it’s a grey concept. In other words, love isn’t black and white. Yes, I suppose that you either love someone or not, but what’s important to remember is that love comes in many forms. While taking a sociology class, I studied Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of love, which posits that there are four main types of love: intimate, committed, and passionate, and consummate love.
I will briefly explain these terms: Intimate love refers to a love based on intimacy and trust, where you share personal information with the person. Do you talk to your boyfriend every day to see how his day went? You definitely have an intimate love. When it comes to committed love, it is unsurprisingly a relationship built on commitment, where the couple mutually decides to stay together, regardless of whether the relationship benefits each partner or not. Passionate love is self-explanatory, where a couple basically can’t keep their hands off each other… I’m sure you know an annoying couple that fits this description! What is consummate love? Well, it can be described as the most perfect and idealistic love, meaning that a relationship contains intimacy, commitment, and passion. Just because you don’t have consummate love doesn’t mean that a relationship can’t be successful- consummate love is simply something to strive for.
So if you have a boyfriend or girlfriend, what type of love would you categorize your relationship? If you say consummate love, congratulations! What can be tricky about Sternberg’s theory of love is that you first must know that you are “in love.” Love is an elusive concept that is difficult to define. So how can one know if it is truly love? The answer is simple: Take the following test to see if you suffer from these love-struck symptoms. If you “suffer” from five or more signs it is safe to say you’re in love! How sweet! : )
1. All long songs on the radio remind you of him or her
This is a clear sign that you’re in a lovey-dovey state of mind! Clearly you can’t get your partner out of your head, even when you are distracted by music! How adorable is that?!
2. You stay up late talking on the phone or skyping
This sign shows true commitment, especially when you have to get up the next morning at 6 A.M.! It seems that you can’t get enough of him or her!
3. You can’t wait to tell him or her about your day
You clearly have an intimate relationship when you care about whether your partner had a good or bad day. When a couple listen’s to each other complain about their day, this shows an even greater commitment!
4. You compromise
Whether it’s compromising on what to watch on TV or compromising on what city you will move to after college, compromise is a huge indication that your relationship is headed in the right direction!
5. You spend time with his or her family
Getting to know the family is an integral part of a relationship, where it truly shows that you love your partner- regardless of whether his or her mother is a basket case!
6. You can’t keep your hands off of each other
I won’t go into details here, but if you are physically attracted to one another, that’s a good sign!
7. You love your partner’s quirks
If you can stand you partner’s most annoying quirks, like constant throat clearing, you’re definitely in it for the long haul!
8. You never run out of things to talk about
If you have frequent pauses while conversing, this is a terrible sign that you and your partner may not be compatible anymore… Or you imply don’t have enough in common.
9. You still get butterflies when he or she kisses you
Okay, I admit it is cliché, but those butterflies in your stomach is a definite signal that you are still in that I-can’t-get-enough-of-you romantic phase.
10. You aren’t afraid to use the “L” word
If you already have the courage to tell your girlfriend or boyfriend that you love him/her, you’re most likely in love, unless you’re downright lying! Who would do that though? If you’ve used the “L” word without meaning it, shame on you!
So did you past the test and find five or more signs that apply to your relationship? Let me know in the comments below!
[lead image via JPFotografie/shutterstock.com]