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Is It Wrong To Sleep With Someone You Work With? [Ask A Dude]


Dear Dude,

I’m just going to come right out and ask you: is it horrible that I’m sleeping with someone I work with? Okay, now here’s the back story. I started a new job a few months ago and immediately hit it off with one of my coworkers. After a recent company happy hour, I ended up going home with him. (Oops?) He’s already told me he isn’t comfortable dating me since we work together, but the sex is great and neither of us seem to want to give it up. While I like him a lot and definitely would date him down the line, I’m fine with the current situation.

Things seem as though they’re easy sailing, but is there some glaring upcoming roadblock I’m failing to see?


Sorry I’m Not Sorry

Dear Sorry I’m Not Sorry,

The only roadblock is the one you’re going to put in your own path (unless sex between coworkers is grounds for termination).

Are there risks? Of course! All relationships, no matter how serious or casual have some. They can all go terribly wrong or fantastically right. In the grander scheme of things, don’t think you’re jumping into especially dangerous waters. You’re just jumping into waters, period.

The big risk is that there will be an inability to coexist in the office if things go sour. Working with each other is tough after you’ve hurt one another. There’s always the worry of being unable to let professionalism trump your personal issues. That could certainly end up affecting your performance and other relationships at work, which would in turn put your employment on less stable ground. That’s assuming things end badly. So far, things are good. If you anticipate it to be a brutal ending, then you’re more likely to bring it about. Never underestimate the power of a self-fulfilled prophecy.

For the sake of postulating, there’s also insecurities pertaining to if one of you is technically higher up the ladder than the other, or gets promoted over the other, thus proving you’re threatened by the other’s success. Basically, allowing competition to dominate your relationship. Those are all hypotheticals based on crappy rom-coms and rom-dramas. Are they based in your reality? So far, not so much.

The sex is great. Awesome! You both like each other. Awesome! You’re making it work so far. Awesome! As long as you keep the lines of communication open, keep to your boundaries, and take it one day at a time, you two might have a great thing that either will last a while or will come to a more amicable conclusion. A big part of it depends on who you are as individuals and what you’re emotionally equipped to deal with, not according to your job description.

Working hard for the money,

The Dude

[Got a Dude itch you just can’t scratch? Sick of trying to come up with a not-totally-crazy-girl way to bring it up to your guy friends and get their take on things? Totally over over-analyzing the cryptic messages he leave on your Facebook Wall? We got your back, girlfriend. Send your question over to askthedude [at] collegecandy [dot] com. The Dude won’t sugarcoat it, beat around the bush, or any other weird cliche that means lie to you. Like a nice, juicy hot dog, he’ll be 100% real beef, 100% of the time. So bring. it. on.]

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