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7 Things Guys Shouldn’t Do In The Bedroom [He Said/She Said]


Hey, I’m not the kind of girl to tell anyone the ‘right way’ to have sex. If you enjoy it and you’re not hurting anyone (unless they’re into that) go right ahead. But I think we can all agree there are some things that guys just need to stop doing in bed. As in, never, ever do these things ever again. No-one likes them. From poor etiquette to moves copied from porn, here are a few no-no’s for every guy to avoid.

1. The ‘oops, wrong one’ move. Seriously, this is never an accident, and it’s never acceptable. After a second of accidental grazing of the wrong hole, move straight on. Any lingering, or attempting to actually enter is completely unacceptable. What do guys actually think this will achieve? Do they think that it’ll just slide in without us noticing? Do you think we’ll enjoy surprise anal so much that we’ll forgive you for doing it with no prior warning? Guess what, even people who like anal aren’t going to like it without any time to prepare. Pretending you seriously can’t tell the difference between a vagina and a butthole is beyond stupid. Stop it.

2. Surprise faceshot. I am so, so glad I’m not speaking from personal experience on this one, but I remember hearing about a girl whose boyfriend ‘accidentally’ finished on her face. Sure, because that happens. Men should not try to copy stuff in porn. It’s not real, and girls will not like it.

3. Creepy dirty talk. Never ever ask a girl to call you ‘daddy’.

4. Fast forwarding through the previews. Skipping foreplay is so annoying, and so many guys try to do it. Girls need some warming up to really enjoy sex, and trying to rush the experience by skipping something so essential is just plain selfish.

5. The jackhammer. Don’t be that guy. Don’t give a girl a sore vajay-jay with no pleasure. It’s that simple.

6. Random kinkiness with a first-time hook up. Don’t bring out the handcuffs on the first date, or assume a girl wants a good spanking. It’s way too risky. It’s good to experiment, but sex should be enjoyable for both people. Save the dirty stuff for after you’ve discussed your likes and dislikes together.

7. Sneaky filming. This should be obvious, but apparently it needs to be said. A guy should never ever film sex with a girl without her knowledge and permission. It’s horrible, rude, and downright wrong.

What do you think guys should never ever do in bed? Leave a comment below and click here to see what He Said!

[Lead image via filipinobook]

    Born, raised, and living in London, Ellen balances a life filled with reading an excessive number of books, attempting to do Pilates, and writing for Cosmopolitan UK alongside CollegeCandy. Contact me: @twitter