magnifier menu chevron-left chevron-right chevron-up comment chevron-up chat_bubble_outline2 share thumbs-up thumbs-down chevron-down

‘Nice Guys’ Of OK Cupid, Actually Douche Bags [Sugar Binge]


You know those guys who are like, “I’m so nice, why don’t girls want to go out with me? It’s because they’re sluts! :(” Well, there’s a whole Tumblr dedicated to exposing the “nice guys” on OK Cupid who think they’re just too nice to get a girl instead of realizing they’re sexist douche bags who want to shame the girls that they are nice to for not boning them. Since when did being nice (a.k.a. boring/repressed/boring) mean that anyone has to sleep with you? Why not try having better values, getting a hobby not being a poo poo pants? That usually works. Note to humanity: It’s never your looks so much as your attitude toward dating.

• Yes, Kim Kardashian got hair bangs. Yes, that is news.

• One Direction sells a million records in the U.S..

• We want all of these T-shirts from House of Ladosha.

• Here is an infographic of what the House of Representative is supposed to look like if it actually represented racial, gender and queer demographics.

 Here is an interesting discussion on The Guardian about “Why the ‘nice guys commit rape too’ conversation is not helpful.” 

“What is true, researchers have found, is that cultural opposition to rape myths makes men less likely to commit assault, and acceptance of those myths makes sexual assault more likely. In social groups where there is wide acceptance of rape myths – for example, the beliefs thatacquaintance rape is a problem of communication or “mixed signals”, that rapists simply can’t control their sexual urges, that women often lie about rape, or that women invite rape upon themselves by their actions or manner of dressing – rape proclivity is higher. When men internalize rape myths, they are more likely to commit rape or see rape as more acceptable.

When men perceive these rape myths as being widely-accepted social norms, their rape proclivity increases. When men believe their peers are using coercion to “get” sex, those men are more likely to engage in the same behaviors. But when men see that rape myths were challenged or not accepted, their rape proclivity decreases.”

Just more evidence that rape is a culture and not something scary men do in alley ways or “nice guys” do because they are confused. There is no debating what rape is – the conversation needs to shift toward why we live in a culture that is so accepting of debating what rape is.

Emerald is an editor at CollegeCandy, lover of coffee, and pretend francophile. After studying writing and popular culture at NYU she decided to be a grownup and get a job. Tweet at ya' girl @EmeraldGritty.