The 15 Most Hilarious Quotes From ‘Toddlers & Tiaras’

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We all know and love Honey Boo Boo but the people on Toddlers & Tiaras say such amazing things they could have literally picked any one family to follow and gotten an amazing reality series. Seriously, you give a few bite-sized beauty queens a camera and a microphone and the filters come off. They’ll say just about anything unapologetically and it’s great, particularly getting inside the heads of kids who are a part of one of the weirdest aspects of American culture: pageants. These kiddies have a lot on their mind and they’re not afraid to say they’d rather have pizza than participate in some silly pageant or that they are *sigh* better than everyone else. 

Check out the 15 best, funniest and most shocking quotes from Toddlers & Tiaras, in no particular order. 

1. “I’m happy I won, but I’m more happy for the McDonald’s I get.”


2. “Sometimes I wish I weren’t famous and I was just a fish.”

Fish do live some pretty easy lives.

3. “It was funny, but I don’t like you so I’m not gonna laugh.”

Whether or not they win the crown, these kids are the queens of sass.

4. “When I’m not doing pageants, I sit at home and act like a cat.”


5. “Sometimes when people are rude to me, I pray they get run over by a huge truck.”

Ok, this took a dark turn.

6. “The judges must have wanted a redneck beauty queen.”


7. “My daughter has prayed to Jesus to make her look like Beyonce.”

Your daughter and I have that in common.

8. “All those girls are ugly! I’m cute!”

Confidence is key.

9. “When Claudia grows up, she wants to own a lot of Taco Bells.”

Let’s all hope that Claudia succeeds.

10. “I’m Brock and I’d describe myself as more of a diva.”

Yes, Brock!

11. “If you touch my crown, I’ll bite you.”


12. “A dolla makes me holla, honey boo boo.”


13. “The last time I had a salad was never.”

Diet tips.

14. “I wish I had an extra finger so I could grab more cheese balls.”

This is genius.

15. “I don’t need a boyfriend, I don’t need the drama.”

Well, she’s not wrong.

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