We’re Dating For All The Wrong Reasons [Diary of the Undateable]

The other day, I thought about this girl that I used to work with. I’ll call her Flashy…because that’s what she was. Flashy got on any and all of my available nerves because of her ostentatious manner. Everything that she did required a live studio audience…maybe it’s because her major was broadcast journalism. Idk. But I DID know that I couldn’t stand her.

Flashy liked to brag about the male attention she got all of the time. She was tall, knew how to skillfully apply her MAC palette and always had a few bundles of long Remy weave installed in her hair. But what made her marketable was her confidence. Sure, it was overblown…but it made people, especially guys, pay attention.

I overheard her talking about a mutual classmate once. He was really sweet, smart and popular, someone whose name was well known on campus…a great catch.

“I think I’m going to go out on a date with him,” she said. “He’s been asking me out for a while now, and I am SOOO hungry.”

Pause. She only wanted to date this guy for the free meal. Not because he was nice or polite or treated her well…but because he’d buy her dinner! Smh.

As shady as it is, I’ve heard similar conversations between many girls on my campus and a few of my friends, too. I’m bored, he’s persistent…why not? I don’t want to go to the movies alone, so I’ll say yes. While there’s nothing wrong with that – I guess – it makes me wonder if we’re dating for all of the wrong reasons.

My dad gave me The Talk not too long ago. He was a little late, but it came from a good place. Daddy Undateable was graphic on purpose so that I’d get his point. “After a guy takes you out, he’s going to start to wonder when you’re going to ‘give it up.’ He’s spending money and time to make a good impression and eventually, he’ll expect more. It’s wrong, I know it is…but that’s just the way it is.”

Dad made sure I realized that this isn’t the case for every single man that exists or every single man that I’ll meet, but he wanted me to be aware of them.

This guy Tonio from wayyy back when was one of those guys. When we went out, he drove to my side of town and spent a few dollars on drinks…and then promptly hit me up with the booty text a few days later.

The reason why I’m dating is because I want a relationship…eventually. Conversations lead to dates and dates lead to relationships and relationships lead to love. Or so I’ve heard. I don’t know if that reason is right or wrong…but it’s the only one that makes sense to me right now.

CollegeCandy, are there any right or wrong reasons for dating?

When she’s not watching for Blue Ivy sightings or doing some serious Facebook creeping, Khalea moonlights as a print journalism major at the REAL HU, Howard University. Follow her on Twitter at @letsbeKHAlear, or feel free to Twatch. Whatever works for you.

[Lead image via Martin Novak/Shutterstock]

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