Did Anyone Else Always Cheat In Candy Land? [Saturday Flashback]

“I WANT CANDYLAAAAAAAAAAAAND!” I got this game in elementary school, during my “Angelica phase” – that’s actually what my mom called it. She noticed that I had started mimicking the bratty attitude of Angelica from Rugrats. I would also quote, the middle sister from Full House, Stephanie’s catchphrase, “How rude!” I was an amazing six-year-old. Just kidding, I was clearly incredibly annoying, demanding and a bully to one particular victim. (Sorry, Sandy-Ann!)

Nevertheless, I demanded Candy Land for my birthday and I received. I was so stoked to go to Gumdrop Mountains that I immediately called my besties at the time.

“Do you want to see my new toy?” I’d say with a wicked grin. My two friends would nod in excitement. Certainly they felt the same way when they had received their coveted boardgames, Pretty, Pretty Princess and Girl Talk.

They reached their paws out to touch the beautifully boxed game.

“No, you can’t play with it!” I’d snatch it back. Withholding. Cold. Stern. My mom would tell me stop acting like Angelica Pickles and share!

I refused.

My monopoly on Candy Land left me with no one to play with – so I demanded my brother and mother play with me.

Then I began my evil scheme.

The rules of the game said the youngest had to go first – so I went first.

The goal of the game was to make it to the end of the game at Candy Castle. I liked to win. There was a magical card in the deck that would skip you all the way to Chocolate Swamp, which meant you immediately went from anywhere on the board to nearly the end. Before each game, I’d put that magical card as the first card, knowing that I’d go first, choose that card and fast forward all the way to Chocolate Swamp.

I always won Candy Land. I thought I was getting away with murder.

Decades later I confessed my six-year-old self’s scheme and my brother said, “Yeah, of course we knew you were cheating. Stupid, Emmy.”


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