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Speak Up: How To Talk Dirty [Sexy Time]


One of the easiest ways to ramp up excitement during a hookup is to indulge in a little dirty talk. Communicating in the bedroom goes beyond boundary-setting and consent-granting. Providing verbal encouragement serves two important purposes – a) it shows you’re present and engaged and b) provides proverbial gold stickers to your partner. Dirty talk doesn’t have to sound like you’re filming an amateur porno to be effective. As long as it’s sincere and doesn’t sound absurdly awkward, you’re going to get a positive response. I think most dirty talk falls under five categories:

1. Spontaneous exclamations.
Things like “wow”, “oh god”, “fuck!”, “yes!” – ie, you’re feeling so much pleasure that you can hardly articulate your thoughts any more.

2. Weaving a fantasy.
This one requires a little bit of shamelessness. If you know any of your partner’s fantasies, you can verbally integrate it into the experience. Let’s say you’re with a dude who has expressed interest in threesomes. While you’re going down on him, you could start off by saying, “Wouldn’t it be cool if there was another girl with me? We could take turns sucking your c*ck…” And then you could carry that theme throughout the rest of the sesh – bringing up this imaginary other girl when he goes down on you or while you’re doing p-in-v or whatever. As long as you have an imagination and you’re not afraid to go for it, this is always a winner.

3. Dominant/submissive.
“Oh, I love being your good little girl”/”I’ve been such a bad girl” – phrases that encourage your partner to take on a dominant role, if that’s what you’re into. Alternatively, phrases like “You like this, don’t you”/”I want you to [whatever you want to do here]” help you take control.

4. Practical
“It feels so good when you [insert action here]”/”I love when you do___” Not only does it encourage your partner to keep doing the things you like, you’re also providing confirmation that you’re having a good time.

5. Complimentary.
“You smell so good”/”You really know how to…”/”You’re amazing at this”/”You have such a big ___”/”Your ____ is so tight” There’s nothing like boosting someone’s ego to make you and the other person feel content.

Basically, make your partner feel like they’re the best you’ve ever had (even if they’re just the best you’ve ever had in the last 48 hours).

[Lead image via Vankad/Shutterstock]

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