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Men Are Pro-Choice…When It Comes to Implants


There’s no denying that straight guys tend to be a little obsessed with boobs. It’s nothing you haven’t noticed us noticing (inappropriately, I admit). There is a myth, though, that all men prefer gigantic mammaries, and thus have a preference for the unnatural variety. In other words, that we all would love it if all women had great big fake tits. FALSE!

This is a falsehood, I tell you! Yes, there are men who do have a preference for big breasts BUT that doesn’t mean they, or any of my gender, automatically want all women to go out and get silicone inserted into their chests. Au contraire, as a matter of fact. I know many a man who believes that a boob job desecrates the natural beauty. However, those who fall on either side of this issue do agree on one thing: it’s a women’s issue, first and foremost.

Why women choose to get implants is up to the individual woman. But there are risks to every elective procedure. Look at Joan Rivers. Or Tara Reid. There are hacks out there, a lot of them apparently in Columbia. There are also masterful surgeons able to give a magnificent product for the consumer. But buyer beware.

The reality is that most men don’t care what you choose to do. We will love your chesticles either way. We adore breasts. I can’t give a non-misogynistic reason for it. I’d prefer not to go with the Freudian logic because, you know, ew. However, I will say that at the end of the day we worship a woman’s figure. We love what’s underneath when we’re allowed to undress or be teased by watching one undress. In the heat of the encounter, there’s no straight man who thinks “gee-golly-gosh, I wish they were fake.” None. None that count as human beings, at least.

Jessica Simpson? Gorgeous. Cobie Smoulders? Gorgeous. Scarlet Johannsen? Gorgeous. Zoe Saldana? Gorgeous. Kristen Stewart? Well, I already wrote about why no guy thinks she’s hot and it has nothing to do with any aspect of her appearance.

Hell, Christina Applegate’s stunning and she had to have hers removed altogether.

Fighting for women’s right!
The Dude

[Lead image via August Fairchild/Shutterstock]

    I'm a dude. I know dudes. And I'll share what I know with you. Just ask!