Drop It Like It’s Hot: Getting Rid of Negative Friends [Ask Tuffy Luv]

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I had a falling out with a really old friend, like elementary school old, about six months ago. She did something really shitty to me and then apologized but it was really the last straw. I told her I didn’t think we could be friends anymore and she seemed to understand. She tried to contact me a couple times and then gave up.

I’m so much happier without her. I was really sick of listening to her whine about everything and never really care about anything I was doing or feeling. This is not the first time she’s done something shitty to me. She’s really self-absorbed and can be really mean sometimes, to me and to other people. She’s really negative and I’m happy to have her out of my life.

Here’s the problem. I’m a performance major and I’m about to graduate. She doesn’t go to my school but we know a lot of people in common from growing up who do. Anyway I guess she heard I’m having a showcase and guess who RSVP’d and bought a ticket.

I’m pissed because I don’t want her in my life, but at the same time I feel kind of touched that she wants to support me. I don’t know. I really don’t want to let her back in. But what do I do when she shows up?


Dear FML,

Don’t let her back in. Look, you’re happier without her. It’s sweet that she’s coming to your show and all, but that doesn’t undo the stuff she’s done over the years. Do yourself a favor. Don’t get tricked. Being nice once doesn’t mean she’ll always be nice. Or ever again. For real.

BTW, it’s not like you INVITED her to your showcase. So, like. I mean. She’s coming when she’s actually not welcome. Maybe she should have, like, you know, checked in with you instead of passive-aggressively buying a ticket without speaking to you for half a year.

But, she’s coming. So, afterwards, say hi, say, “Thank you for coming,” and leave it at that. You don’t owe her anything other than a good show.

So rock that shoop.

Hearts & Skulls,

Tuffy Luv

Got a question?! Girl, please. Ask Tuffy Luv. tuffyluvcc [at] gmail [dot] com

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